Page 75 of Bridesmaid Undercover
No underwear will ever be better than this underwear.
Henrietta
To:Hardy Hopper
From: Everly Plum
Subject: Dear…God…
You know, Henrietta, a simple “yes, my underwear is good” would have been just fine.
Now I have the image of your underwear being used as a placemat ingrained in my head.
Not happy.
The Prof
To:Everly Plum
From: JP Cane
Subject: Dear Friend
Dear Friend,
Did you know that the people of ancient Rome used to eat flamingo tongue as a delicacy? Think about that for a moment…tongue from innocent flamingos. It’s so horrific.
Thankfully, we’re not living in ancient Rome and the threat of flamingo tongue ending up on plates is no longer a concern, but do you know what is a concern? The fragile habitats these beautiful birds live in.
Please join me in helping save their habitats from destruction.
Donate Here.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
JP Cane
Everly:I’m sitting in my car, about to walk into a bowling alley for a bowling league that I agreed to take part in…as an actual bowling league member. I think this is the start of me losing my mind.
Ember:Losing your mind? I think this is a great idea! Look at you getting out there. Are you going with anyone?
Everly:Maple…yes, that Maple, the one that Hardy wants to date.
Ember:Ehhh, that’s a little weird.
Everly:I’m trying not to think about it. She said there’s a guy here, Timothy— that was not a typo: Timothy, not Tomothy— who might be a good match for me. So, I’m giving this dating thing the old college try.
Ember:Interesting. I guess anything is better than a second date with Tomothy.
Everly:Literally anything.
Ember:Are you nervous?
Everly:Of course, I’m nervous. I’ve never bowled for competition in my life, the last man I met spoke about licking his cat, and my hands are clammy no matter how many times I rub them on my pants.
Ember:Ahh, young love.
Everly:Young love? Love is not even in the picture at this point. I’m just trying to make sure I don’t make a fool of myself.
