Page 65 of So This Is War
“Perhaps,” I reply. “Erotic torture is a fine art, a master class in corrupting unsuspecting cocks.”
“Ehh, are you okay?” she asks.
“Never been better,” I say as my eyes go wild. “Envision this . . . me, no bra, just a tank top, walking around his space, flirting with him, touching him, resting my hardened nipple on his forearm. Driving him so crazy with need, with lust, that he’llwalk around with a constant hard-on. He wakes up with one, works out with one, plays his games with one. Hard-on after hard-on after hard-on. And no amount of dingo dangling with it will the hard-on become flaccid. He will be hard for the ages.” I move my hand across the sky, staring up at the ceiling.
Sandie is silent for a second. “A few comments. Dingo dangling is a first for me. I’m not sure where that came from, but it will never leave my head. Ever. Second, using the word flaccid, was that by choice?”
“Dingo dangling was a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants terminology,” I say. “And flaccid, yes, that was by choice. Nothing is sadder than a flaccid dick.”
Sandie slightly nods. “Agreed, and hey, this plan, it seems like fun, but what happens when he cracks? Because I have a feeling he will.”
“Then I win . . . in multiple ways.” I wink.
“And the end goal?”
I smile at my friend. “To show these men that women are not their puppets.”
“And what are we?” she asks.
“Strong, confident, smart, and in no need for a penis to dictate our future.” I raise my fist to the sky, feeling drunk off power.
“Well, if that’s the case, then I’m all in. What can I do to help?”
I stare at my friend and smile. “I need to borrow some of your shirts.”
“Why? They’re way too small for your chest size.”
I smile at her. “Exactly.”
Levi:I know this might sound crazy, but can you get more bagels tonight?
I stare down at his text, my teeth grinding together as I read his request over and over. The freaking audacity. Oh, he’ll be getting his bagels. He’ll have so many bagels he won’t know what to do with them.
Wylie:Not a problem. Same count and type?
Levi:Yeah, and can you freeze them?
Wylie:Not a problem. I don’t know how much room is left in the freezer, but I’ll shift some things around.
Levi:Thank you.
Wylie:Anything for you . . . Mr. Posey. And good luck tonight.
Levi:It’s Levi. And thanks.
Wylie:Anything I can help you with today? Your pencils have been sharpened and are beautifully displayed on the dining room table. Skittles have been sorted and are waiting for consumption. I’m almost done with the book, and I must say, Vermont is such an interesting state. I can’t wait to discuss it with you over a bagel when you get back. Oh, and I took it upon myself to fold all your underwear a certain way to fit better in your dresser.
Levi:Wow, you’ve been busy. Thanks. The underwear sounds interesting. Can’t wait to see what you’ve done with it. And as for other tasks, yeah, do you think you could pull all my laundry out of my drawers and rewash it all, fold it, and put itaway? I love walking into my closet and smelling fresh clothes when I get home.
Wylie:I know the smell you’re referring to. Delicious. Sure thing. Want me to add some fabric softener? I saw that you don’t have any.
Levi:That would be awesome. Thanks. And how did that stain come out?
Wylie:Perfect, looks brand new. Get ready to do your best eating.
Levi:Wow, I’m impressed.
Wylie:Also went shopping for you, so food is stocked up. I’ve also been learning to make that protein smoothie you like so much, and I think I’ve nailed it. I’ll make it for you when you get back.
