Page 125 of The Way I Hate Him
“I’m sorry,” he says one last time before he exits my apartment, leaving me in the wake of the destruction.
But I don’t care.
I don’t care about the blood splattered across the floor and the rug that used to lay flat across the floor. I don’t care about the broken dresser or the upturned chair, or the pictures that somehow fell to the ground while they were wrestling.
The only thing I care about is the letter in my hand.Why did Cassidy write to Hayes? Did she have something going on with him?
With shaky fingers, I slide the envelope open from the back and slowly pull out a folded piece of paper. On a deep breath, I unfold it, and the moment I see her handwriting scrolled across the paper, more tears fill my eyes, clouding my vision.
I tip my head back, not wanting to get any of my tears on the paper and ruin her letter. It takes me a moment, but I hold the paper up and read once I’ve gathered myself.
Dear Hayes,
I know I’m probably the last person you expected to hear from, but as you might know—or might not know—I’m really sick, and I’m getting my affairs in order. Morbid, I know, but as I lie here in my bed, knowing my time is coming to an end, I realize I don’t want to leave this earth without at least trying to make my mark.
I know about Samantha, I know about the miscarriage, but what I don’t know is why. You were a part of the family growing up. Aubree and Hattie were too young to truly know you, but I knew you. I knew you well. Some of my best moments in high school are from bonfires on the beach with you, Ryland, and Abel. The Samantha thing never made sense to me, and I know I’ll leave this earth without knowing why, but you know why.
And this is where my request comes in.
I’m asking the world from Ryland, to take on the responsibility of raising my child. And I know he’s too much of a proud man to ask for help, but he’s going to need it. So from my bed where I’ll take my last breaths, I ask you, please, please reach out to him. Please break this feud.
Give me the peace of mind knowing I can trust that you two can move past your differences and be the friends you once were. If anything, do it for Mac because the more strong, passionate, loving people in her life, the better.
Thank you, Hayes.
Cassidy
P.S. I know you don’t know Hattie very well, but she could do with a friend like you too. Our whole family has grieved your loss. Please be someone in her life too.
P.P.S. She’s also a huge fan. She pretends she isn’t, but she is. I hear her playing The Reason all the time.
I cry and snort at the same time.
Why, Cassidy?
Why didn’t you leave me any part of you? Your baby girl...your store...a letter. Anything.
Ryland and Aubree have such big parts of Cassidy and knew what she wanted. But I was sent away with nothing but the largest hole in my heart that nothing will ever take away. I’ve felt so alone in my devastation. With nothing but silence.
And even fucking Hayes Farrow got a letter.
But why couldn’t you have written to me too, Cass? All I’ve wanted was your words.
And why, of all the days for Hayes to find this, to give me this letter, does it have to be today?
* * *
“Uncle Ry Ry,”Mac says, tugging on his hand. “I think I had too much pie.” Ryland turns toward her where he’s sitting at the dining room table and places his hand on her belly.
“Are you full?” She nods.
“I feel sick.”
“I told you a third piece would have been too much.”
“But I needed to eat my piece and a piece for Chewy Charles and a piece for Mommy.”
“I understand,” Ryland says. “How about we rest you on the couch, and then we can make the cookies when you’re feeling better?”
