Page 107 of The Downside of Love
My throat closes up on me as I dip my head and brace it with my hands against the table. “Shit,” I mutter. Rory’s hand rubs my back, thoughtfully trying to soothe the ache forming inside me. Quietly, I say, “He was there.”
“I’m not trying to make you feel bad, Colby. I just want you to be able to set aside your anger and see the situation from both sides. Do I think Stryder should have contacted you as well? Of course. You were both hurting at the time.”
“How did you end up getting together?” I don’t really want to know, but a part of me believes that I have to hear it. In order to fully get over this, I need to know how they became a couple.
“It isn’t what you might think, that we jumped each other the minute we had the chance.”
“I wasn’t thinking that.” She tilts my chin up and raises a questionable brow toward me. I chuckle and admit, “Okay, maybe a part of me thought the minute I left, you two hooked up.”
She rolls her eyes and sits back on her chair, and I’m actually grateful that the air between us is becoming less tense.This is the girl I fell in love with. Sassy. Intelligent. Thoughtful.“It was . . . gradual. We built a strong friendship, one that I relied upon more every day. He was there for me and I was there for him. He became a part of the Special Olympics coaching staff and,” she pauses, again looking tearful. “I’m pretty sure he saved my life.”
What the hell?“What? How?”
“My appendix ruptured. He found me in pain and rushed me to the hospital. The doctors said that if he hadn’t acted as quickly as he did, I could have been so much worse off.”
Shit. Sounds just like Stryder. He was always good at not cracking under pressure.
“From there, I started to grow feelings for him even though he kept trying to push me away over and over again. Even when we were finally together, he always kept his distance. I knew there was a missing piece. But I didn’t know for a while that you held that piece, Colby. He never wanted to betrayyou. You have to believe that. But he felt—”
“Guilt,” I answer, letting that sink in. Hell, I’d feel the same damn way.
“He couldn’t get over his betrayal, as he calls it, and it was our undoing.” Her lip trembles as her tears begin to fall again. “I truly hoped he would be able to get over it, but the minute he saw you, I knew. I knew it deep in my bones that he would never come to terms with our relationship and that he would leave me. I just didn’t realize it would be so abrupt. So . . . soon.”
Her words hang between us, as my mind races a mile a minute.Am I fucking happy that my best friend fell in love with my girl?No. But I’m also feeling guilty as shit for not seeing the signs, for causing a ripple in Rory’s life, for bringing her more tears. I might be in love with her, but I’m not a jealous fuck who wants to see her suffer because she doesn’t want to be with me.
I’m the opposite. I want to see her happy, just like Stryder wanted to see her happy.
Christ.
I drag my hand over my face as Rory says, “Can I ask you something?”
I focus on her and nod.
“Are you happy flying?”
Is she kidding me? How is that even a question?
“Yeah.”
“Is it everything you dreamed of? Being a part of a team in the sky?”
I nod. “It’s even more than I can explain. Every time I sit in that cockpit, I thank my lucky stars for being in the position I’m in. I know it’s a privilege, a highly sought-after position, one not many get the chance at.”
She takes my hand it squeezes it. “I’m happy for you, Colby. When I first met you, I knew exactly where you belonged, and even though it wasn’t with me, I still wanted to see you succeed. And you did it. You’re flying a fighter; you’re protecting your country. You’re a part of something so much bigger than the love we shared.” Reaching out, she cups my cheek. “I love you, Colby, but the love we shared, even though it was beautifully romantic and changed everything I ever thought I’d want in life, it was a stepping stone for both of us. Our love wasn’t meant to be, and I believe its purpose was to bring you out of your shell, and to show me that I don’t always have to be the one who takes care of everyone. It’s okay to let someone take care of me. I will always cherish what we had, because it helped us grow into the people we are today.”Fuck, I love this girl. Her heart.Even though she’s no longer mine. And somehow, I’m okay with this.
“But we need to move on,” I say, the confession feeling like a sharp cut to my heart.
“We need to move on,” she answers with a nod. Standing from her chair, she holds out her arms to me. With sadness in my bones, I pull her into my chest and give her a long hug, soaking her in one last time.
I thought I needed this beautiful girl to see, to hear, to fucking breathe, but if anything, she’s proved to me today that she was meant to be in my life, but for a different reason. And even though that’s a tough pill to swallow, I can see the reasoning.
Doesn’t mean I won’t stop loving her. But I won’t resent her either. Because she gave me the greatest gift love can give. She set me free to fly. To make sure I achieved my dream to make my dad and gramps proud of me. To makemeproud of me.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
COLBY
“Where are we going for dinner?” Colt asks, rubbing his belly as we walk down the hallway to our designated lockers.
