Page 106 of The Downside of Love
She nods, almost before I can finish my question. “I love him so much.” She takes in a shaky breath. “He’s my best friend.”
Like a dagger straight to my heart, I’m knocked by the emotion and passion she has for a man I used to share everything with. Sitting back, I push my hand through my hair trying to comprehend what this means.
Is this it?
From the look of it, the answer is yes. Rory ended our relationship, something I foolishly and so desperately cherished and held onto.
“You love him,” I state, still trying to understand.
“I do.” She scoots closer on her seat and takes my hand in hers. I squeeze my eyes shut from the feel of her palm against mine, her delicate hand held in my large and calloused one. “Colby, none of this happened while you and I were together.”
“But he loved you when we were together.” That much I know.
“And never once acted on it. Ever. If anything, he pushed me away at times, and I thought that maybe he didn’t like me as a friend, especially toward the end.”
“What changed?” I rub my thumb over the back of her hand, reveling in this small moment, in being able to hold her one more time, even if it’s while we talk about another man.
She takes a deep breath. “You left. Hardie and Joey left. He had no one. You saw how he was before graduation, but it was one hundred times worse. He was lost and out of control. He was drunk and needed help, so he called Ryan.”
“He called Ryan?”What the fuck?
“He did, and since we were hanging out, I went with her.” Letting out a shaky sigh, she grips my hand tighter. “If you were there, Colby, you would have lost it on him. He was so drunk and looked like absolute shit. He was at rock-bottom and it scared me. I felt a sense of responsibility to take care of him because he was your best friend. I couldn’t leave him there, so Ryan and I got him away from the poison that is his father, and took him in. He stayed with me on the weekends and stayed with Ryan during the weekdays. His father was poisoning him with his words. He was torn apart watching his friends take off for flight school when he was stuck back in the Springs. And . . . and you weren’t there for him.”
My eyebrows shoot up to my hairline.What the fuck?“Excuse me?”
Growing a little taller in her seat, shoulders set back, Rory says, “He needed you, Colby.”
“He was the one who left without saying a word, and I fucking needed him too. I lost the love of my goddamn life. You think that was easy on me?”
She bites her bottom lip and shakes her head. “But he also lost everything, and he was in worse shape than you. You were concerned about him when we were together. You should have reached out.”
I let go of her hand and flex my fists, anger starting to consume me. “Don’t put his problems on me. It’s not my fault he didn’t accomplish his dreams.”
“It’s not,” she says back, her brow creased. “But you were his best friend, and you should have at least tried to help him through his heartache, just like I’m assuming he helped you when we broke up.”
I grind my teeth together, thinking back to the nights we shared at the bar on the weekends. He sat there and listened, nodded his head occasionally, but hewasthere. And he listened to me talk about a girl he fucking loved, a girl he thought he’d never have.
Fuck.
Grunting in frustration, I push my hands through my hair, to the back of my neck. “He was there.”
It’s three simple words. Three words that hit me harder than expected.
He was there for me, and as much as I hate to admit it because I’m a stubborn ass at times—a stubborn ass with a broken heart—she’s right. I wasn’t there for him when he needed me.
My timeline starts adding up in my head when Stryder started to take a turn, started to distance himself.
We found out about flight school around the same time Rory and I officially got together. That’s when Stryder was distancing himself; when he started to pull away.
Flight school and Rory—two things he desperately wanted but didn’t get.
He wasn’t the same guy I’d first met. There was no humor left in him. It was almost as if life took away everything he ever cared about and left a shell of a man who only went through the motions.
And I was so goddamn consumed with Rory that I didn’t catch his downfall until it was too late, until he was at a point of no return.And then I left.
But when I did need him, when I was in desperate need for my best friend to walk me through one of the biggest heartaches of my life, he was there.
He was fucking there.
