Page 105 of The Downside of Love
I clear my throat and nod toward an empty high-top table, just like the one we sat at so long ago, where I gave her three questions to ask me. “Do you have a second to sit?”
She looks toward the bowling alleys and then nods. “Yeah, they’re just wrapping up, and my dad said he’d take Bryan home once everyone was done.”
We make our way to the table and take a seat. For a brief second, I allow myself to soak her in again. The smell of her sweet perfume, her mannerisms, those addictive and expressive green eyes . . . memories that have taken over my mind every night since we broke up rush back to me.
Feeling a little uncomfortable since I’m not really good at this talking shit, I say, “Looks like you were having fun over there.”
She gives the group another look and then turns back toward me. “Yeah, Bryan’s really grown in the last year, trying different sports. I thought he was really into track and field until we introduced bowling to him. He loves it.”
“Looks like it.” I smile, but my smile quickly fades when I turn to Rory who looks like she’s about to cry.
She doesn’t skip a beat when she says, “What are you doing here, Colby?”
Doesn’t seem like she’s into pleasantries.With me.“I need to talk to you.”
“About Stryder?”
I grind my teeth together and say, “Him and other things.”
“What are the other things?”
“Are we doing this? Just jumping right into this mess, in the middle of a bowling alley?”
She shrugs. “Might as well.”
Okay then. “Why didn’t you respond to my letters?”
She sighs and leans back in her chair and that’s when I see it: the weakness in her shoulders, the bags under the eyes, and her pale complexion. Usually, Rory has a happy glow that’s contagious and can turn around anyone’s day. It almost feels like there is a dreary cloud hanging over her head.
“It was over between us, Colby. I wasn’t going to lead you on by writing back.”
“It wasn’t over for me, Rory.”
She fiddles with her hands on her lap. “I know it wasn’t, but it had to be. I know enough about the Air Force now to know your job doesn’t allow any flexibility in where you are stationed. Why would I foster hope if I knew it wasn’t going to work out?”
“I offered to stay and be there for you.”
“And we both know that would have been a mistake, Colby. Don’t kid yourself. If you weren’t flying, you wouldn’t be happy, and you’d end up resenting me.”
“That’s not true.”
She gives me aget reallook and shakes her head. “Colby, I know you, you would have been—”
“I would have had you.” I try to control my anger, but I can’t seem to quell the urge to yell. “I would have had you, and that’s all that fucking mattered to me.”
She puts her head in her hand and leans forward, her shoulders slumped. A light sniffle comes from her as she says, “I can’t do this right now, Colby. I really can’t. I can’t hash out a relationship that was never going to work in the long run.” She lifts her head and wipes away her tears. “I need to go.”
“Wait.” I catch her arm before she can leave. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” She wipes another tear. “Stryder left me. That’s what’s wrong.”
She’s . . . devastated. She was putting on a good face for the athletes but sitting here now, she looks exhausted, like she has no energy left to give, and that’s very unlike her. Even though she’s trying desperately to stop her tears, they keep coming, dripping down her face in a stream of sorrow.
I think back to Stryder. He didn’t fight me back. He just . . . collapsed in front of me, completely ruined.
I bite down on the inside of my cheek. I think back to the day of the funeral, the way she leaned into his touch, as if she couldn’t have stood on her own.As if he meant everything to her . . .
Feeling sick to my stomach but needing to know the truth, I ask, “Do you love him, Rory?”
