Page 104 of The Downside of Love
He’s right. I wasn’t completely focused today while flying, and that is dangerous. If there is one thing I’ve learned in flight school it isalways be mentally tuned in. The minute you let your mind drift elsewhere, you’re not only putting yourself in danger, but you’re putting your entire squadron in danger.
Succumbing, I give him a quick rundown of what happened last night, including the punch, the other punches I held back on, and the way it ended. It gutted me to tell Stryder he’s dead to me, but I can’t believe he’d betray me.
It left such a bitter taste in my mouth. Even though I hadn’t talked to him in over a year, I didn’t expect to have to detach that part of my life yesterday.Haven’t I fucking lost enough?
“Are you more upset about the girl or your friend?”
I slouch and rest my head against the couch cushion, tossing the TV remote onto the coffee table. “I don’t know. I’m pretty fucked up over both.”
“Do you still love her?”
“Yeah. Despite everything, I think I do.”But obviously she doesn’t love me anymore. Fuck.
Bent nods his head and tips back the Cup of Noodles cup into his mouth, drinking the broth. “And he’s like a brother to you?”
I let out a sharp breath. “Yeah, he was. Kind of the other half of me, if that makes any sense.”
He nods. “It does. Which means, you have to figure it out between them, because you won’t get past it if you don’t.”
“Figure it out? That’s your advice?” I shake my head. “Fucking shitty-ass squadron leader.”
He stands and pushes my legs out of the way to get past me. “Told you I wasn’t a babysitter. Figure it out, Flyer. This TDY is three months long. I’m not going to have you sulking in your hotel room and fucking up any practice time. Got it?” It isn’t very often Bent is so stern, but when he is, you know it’s fucking serious.
“Yes, sir,” I reply, resting back on the couch.
“And I mean now. Take care of it now,” he snaps just as the door shuts.
Fucking hell.
* * *
To say Mrs. Oaks was happy to see me very well might be a lie. She acted like it was good to see me when I knocked on her door this afternoon, all cheery with a smile that never reached her eyes, but I could see the trepidation, the curiosity, thedon’t fuck my daughter overexpression.
Luckily, she kept to the same polite demeanor I remember from over a year ago and told me where I could find Rory. She might have eyed me up and down before telling me, a purse to her lips, and she might have paused before telling me . . . Nonetheless, I got the information, thanked her, and headed to the bowling alley on Interquest Parkway.
I think back to that night at the bowling alley when Rory and Stryder ambushed me. Stryder so fucking demanding that I go cosmic bowling with him, Hardie, and Joey. I never would have gone had I known Rory and Ryan were going.Thatwas the beginning of the end for me. That was when I first gave her more of me. I opened the door for her to step in and steal my goddamn heart.
And Stryder was so insistent. Why? Sohecould see her again even though he couldn’t have her? I squeeze my eyes shut for a second and try to steady my breathing, tamping down my anger. Being angry is not going to do any good.
This will be the first time I’ve talked to her since we broke up, and the last thing I want is to scare her away.
Gathering myself, I walk through the doors of the bowling alley and look to the right side of the building. A group of Special Olympic athletes are having a hell of a time bowling, with a smiley and still gorgeous-as-ever Rory standing in the middle handing out high fives while keeping Bryan close to her side.
Instead of walking up to her right away, I keep my distance, leaning against a pole. I observe her.
Standing protectively next to Bryan, she claps and cheers for the other athletes around her, handing out fist bumps, hugs, and encouraging advice. She’s in her element.This is where she’s meant to be. It’s like she’s found her niche—the thing she’s supposed to do with her life if she can’t be a professional dancer—coaching these amazing athletes. She’s amazing with Bryan, and obviously that extends to the others around her. They all respond to her. All love her.Trust her.
My heart swells as I feel intense pride for Rory. She’s happy and content, until she turns away from the athletes. I see her smile falter and the rise in her chest as she tries to catch her breath . . . and that’s when she spots me.
Her hand goes to her chest, her eyes widen, and pure shock registers across her face. I don’t blame her. I don’t know if she saw me at the funeral or if she kept her distance, but I’m a different man now. My hair isn’t buzzed so close to my scalp anymore, and I have about ten more pounds of muscle on my frame, making me almost as big as Stryder.
Hands in my pockets, I rock back on my heels, unsure what to do. I watch as she leans over to a man sitting next to Bryan and says something to him. The man looks toward me, and that’s when I recognize Mr. Oaks. He gives me a stern look but then nods at Rory. Scooting past athletes, she moves toward me. Her hair is shaped in loose curls, and she’s wearing a simple pair of jeans and a Special Olympics Coach shirt. She looks amazing.
When she reaches me, she mimics my stance and is the first one to speak. “Colby, what are you doing here?”
I’ve thought of this moment for so goddamn long. My dreams of being able to talk to her in person—see her again—became a reality when we were assigned temporary duty in Colorado Springs. I conjured up every type of conversation we could have, but not once did I ever think we’d talk about her dating Stryder. And even though she never returned my letters, I didn’t expect such a lukewarm greeting either.
Not that I thought she’d jump me the minute she laid eyes on me, but I expected a little more than a “what are you doing here?”
