Page 83 of The Upside of Falling
“That can’t be easy on them.”
“It’s not. When I asked Rory what would happen if something went wrong with her parents, she said she would be in charge of Bryan.”
Gramps sits back in his chair, folding his hands together. Understanding starts to develop in his mind. “Which grounds her to this location.”
I nod. “She didn’t say it, but I read between the lines.”
“Peterson doesn’t fly F-22s out of their base.”
“I know.” It’s a fact I’ve known for a long time, and it never affected me until now. F-16 pilots are based out of Phoenix and Oklahoma. There aren’t any fighters coming out of Peterson, just heavy planes.
Gramps blows out a long breath, moving the crocheted blue and white blanket farther up on his lap despite it not being cold in his room. “That’s a problem.”
Tell me something I don’t know.
I run my hands over my face, knowing what I’m about to say is completely and utterly crazy. “What if ” —I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to see my grandpa’s reaction—“what if I deferred my spot to flight school and took a job that would give me a higher chance of staying at Peterson?”
The air around us becomes thick, adding a layer of tension between Gramps and me. “Are you willing to risk your chance of going to flight school for a possibility of being stationed at Peterson?”
“I don’t know.” I blow out a heavy breath. “I love her, Gramps, more than anything, more than fucking flying. And to leave her behind, knowing she’s going to have to face this responsibility alone, I don’t think I can do it. I don’t have to stay in the Air Force. I can do my time and become a civilian or even an instructor. I know some of my advisors would stick their neck out for me, try to get me into Peterson. I could see it working out, especially since I’m top of my class.”
“But will you regret it?” His voice is even. He’s not angry, and he’s not upset about our dream being tossed around like it hasn’t been the goal for years. Instead, he’s helping me work through my thoughts, posing questions to help me weigh the pros and cons.
“I think I’m going to regret any decision I make regarding this. You know I’ve wanted to be a fighter pilot my entire life. It’s been in my blood, pushing me to be the best. But then I met Rory.” I shake my head in disbelief. “I never thought anything would overshadow my goals, that someone could make me forget about flying with one effortless smile.” Looking out the window, my gaze taking in the mountain range, my voice is even. “I want to fucking marry her one day, Gramps, and being a fighter pilot won’t grant me that luxury.”
“It almost sounds like you’ve made your decision.”
My stomach flips, conducting somersaults as I try to figure out what I truly want to do. “I don’t know, Gramps. Can I ask you this? Would you have done the same thing for Grandma if you were in my position? Would you have given up your entire future—the one you worked so desperately to achieve—for the possible chance at being with her?”
Turning away from me, looking out toward the mountains as well, Gramps lets out a long breath. He doesn’t answer right away. Instead, we sit in silence, the possible death of my career sitting between us.But isn’t life with Rory worth that cost?
Scratching the side of his face, he finally says, “There is no doubt in my mind that I would have done the same thing for your grandma. Careers fade, but love lasts forever.” He turns to me now, looking more serious than I’ve ever seen him. “If this is what you want, if you truly love her, then I will support whatever you decide. Follow your heart, Colby, because it hasn’t steered you wrong yet.”
Sighing, I mutter a low oath underneath my breath, my heart racing at the idea of turning down the opportunity of a lifetime.
No one would understand my decision, no one except Gramps, because the kind of love he shared with my grandma was once in a lifetime, the kind of love you make sacrifices for, the kind of love I feel for Rory.
I think through the letters she’s sent me over the last few months, the late-night talks, the exhausted texts, the many times she mentioned being at Bryan’s side. He is the center of her universe and to be honest, that doesn’t bother me. Their bond is strong, and I would never want to do anything to get in the middle of that relationship. In fact, I would aim to strengthen it by carrying some of her load.
But I know she won’t be able to do it alone, and given her past relationships, the pathetic assholes who couldn’t put their egos aside and see the beauty that is her relationship with her brother, I know she deserves someone who cares. She needs someone who gets it, someone to take care of her when she’s taking care of someone else.
I want to be that man.
I can fly in other capacities, but I can’t find another Rory. She’s it for me. She’s the girl I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.
I know I’m making the right decision, because it’s leading my heart to my home. Rory.
Chapter Thirty-One
RORY
“Pancakes,” Ryan announces as she walks through my apartment door, bag in hand.
I roll to my side, blocking her out and tucking myself under my covers even further. When I told her I didn’t want any company, I meant it. I’m not in the mood to talk. I want to wallow.
“I’m not hungry,” I grumble.
“Too bad. I got extra fluffy pancakes for you, and I won’t be eating these on my own.” She flops down next to me on the bed and sets the bag in front of my face. “Come on, Rory, sit up and talk to me.”
