Page 44 of Silver Edge
After a few beats, I began to relax and join the pacing of his inhale and exhale. His heart beat slightly slower, but I was close.
“Wow. How’d you know to do that?” I asked, not wanting to move from his perfect, soothing rhythm.
He caressed my upper arm and I stood in front of him. “Don’t know. It just seems like you relate to certain sounds and avoid others. I hoped my heart would be one of the ones you connected with. Also, I did a little research.”
“Research about what?” I asked.
“I wanted to know why you didn’t like to be touched. At first, I thought you were abused, but then with what happened in the club, your mad mathematical skills, and you saying certain sounds bothered you, I discovered something called Asperger’s. Has anyone ever mentioned that to you before?”
“I’ve been teased that I’m a retard, or autistic. The boys at the center called me Autistic Girl sometimes. The only official diagnosis was from a doctor at juvenile hall who said I had a behavioral disorder with violent tendencies and reported that I should be institutionalized.” I moved closer into Drake’s side and lifted my head to his shoulder. He tucked me into the crook of his arm and kissed my head. That delicious tingling ran down my neck through my spine, all the way to my toes. “What’s Asperger’s?”
“It’s a term used to describe people with exceptionalities. They might be able to do math in their head, compose music on a whim, and perform other genius actions, but they have trouble with eye contact, social skills, and communication. In many cases, they don’t like to be touched.”
I shot back two steps, my pulse thundering with hope. After all these years, could I be normal? Was there really other people out there like me? “Is there a cure? Can I take a pill or something?”
Drake took my face in his hands. “Why would you ever want to change who you are? You’re perfect. I’m just sorry you were around people who didn’t see it. Why do you think Margo is so jealous of you?”
“Jealous of me?”
He kissed my cheek. “Because you’re beautiful.” His lips moved to my chin. “Smart.” Then to my lips. “And exceptional. Everything she’s not.”
“But what if you can never sleep with me? What if every time you touch me I flinch? It’ll get to you after a while. I know it will. Even now, while my insides are all gushy, my arms and legs are stiff.”
“I can’t know what will happen between us, but I can tell you that I’ll never disrespect you or cause you harm. We’ll take it one day at a time and both do our best.” He looked directly into my eyes and I fought the urge to look away. “I will make one promise to you, though. While we’re figuring this out, I won’t be with anyone else, and I’ll do what I can to make you happy.”
That longing twist in my stomach returned. “I think I want to kiss you again. Is now okay?”
“Now is perfect.”
I captured his lips and lost myself in the swirling of his tongue, the gentle sweeps of his lips. Passionate hunger emerged from us both, and we deepened our kiss. My body warmed and curved so I could press into him. There was something new, not just the deep heat between my legs screaming for release, but a longing to be…touched?
I took his hand and rested his palm on my breast. He held it there for a moment. The mind-numbing wait caused me to move closer until he lowered onto the oversize chair. I straddled him, my knees resting to either side of his thighs. I moved slow, but deliberate. My hands gripped his neck and I kissed him with more passion than I’d ever felt in my life.
His hand massaged and kneaded my breast, sending want through my body. I moved closer to him. Breaking the kiss, I leaned back and toyed with the seam of his T-shirt, then let my hand drift underneath and found hard muscle and warm skin. I didn’t flinch when my palm found his sweat. Instead, I followed the small trail of hair up to his belly button.
He inhaled a sharp breath and captured my wrists. “I think we better stop there for now. I’m willing to wait, but I’m not a saint.” With one hand on my ass and the other around my waist, he stood. Kissing me once more, he turned and lowered me back to the vinyl chair.
Releasing me, he turned to the doorway and adjusted himself. “Okay, time for that cold shower.”
Banging sounded from below. I shrunk back, waiting for another battle of the blonde. Drake clicked on the TV in the corner. The screen twirled until it settled, revealing a delivery guy holding our pizza.
“Do you mind?” Drake pulled some cash from his wallet and handed it to me. “I think I’ll take that cold shower first.”
I trotted down the stairs, whistling some tune that popped into my head. After I paid the pizza guy and made sure the place was locked up, I grabbed some paper plates and a couple of sodas from behind the bar and went to the bedroom.
Drake joined me on the bed, wearing a T-shirt and gym shorts. “Smells great. I’m starved.”
I opened the box and the aroma of cheese and baked bread made my stomach growl.
Drake nudged my shoulder with his. “Sounds like you are, too.”
I bit into the cheesy goodness then took a sip from my drink. My knee touched his, and after a few minutes, I managed to settle with both the smells and taste of the pizza, the touch of his knee, and the sound of something clanking in the vent.
I devoured two pieces before I realized that we’d probably go to bed once we were done eating. It was what he wanted. I could give that to him…maybe. With small nibbles, I stalled, trying to think of how to prepare myself for his arms around me, how to relax enough to sleep like that.
“Stop thinking so much. Your entire body is getting tense.” He downed his remaining drink, then set the can on the nightstand. “Let’s just crawl under the covers and cuddle for a bit sitting up. No pressure. If you’re not comfortable, I’ll sleep on the couch over there.”
I cleared the pizza box and paper plates from the bed and Drake rolled the covers down. I steadied myself, trying to keep the roiling motion in my gut under control. Drake fluffed the pillows up and leaned back, but he didn’t look at me. Instead, he fidgeted with his cell phone.
