Page 63 of Deserving Lara
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Lara took a deep breath once the door to the cabin shut behind her. The walk through the wooded path seemed longer and scarier for some reason. It wasn’t quite dark out yet, but it was overcast, and that made everything a little more eerie.
She went into the guest room, needing a neutral room to process everything she was feeling.
What hurt the most about what she’d learned from Cora was that it wasOwlwho’d kept things from her. Lara’s head pounded with a headache…and her chest hurt from heartache. Maybe he had a good explanation, but she couldn’t think of what that might be. He’d had plenty of time to tell her they’d found a chopper, and more importantly, about the possibility of her going with him and Stone to check it out.
She curled into a fetal position on the bed and stared blankly out into the dim room. Did he notwanther to go? Was that why he hadn’t brought it up? That hurt, but honestly, she wouldn’t blame him. What did she know about helicopters? Nothing. And if she had a panic attack, he’d have to deal with that rather than the chopper. The last thing she wanted was to be a burden on anyone.
And she’d been more than a burden on Owl for quite a while. Hell, for months he wasn’t able to do any-damn-thing without her freaking out if she lost sight of him. She’d come a long way from the woman she’d been right after she’d been rescued, but neither of them knew how she’d react out in the real world. Here on The Refuge, she felt safe. But the second she stepped foot off the property, she was fair game. And she had a feeling everyone knew it too.
The sound of the front door opening and closing had Lara tensing. But Owl’s deep voice immediately made her relax.
“It’s me!” he called out as he always did when he came home.
Home.
This cabin was home for Lara now. It was her safe place. Her own personal refuge. And the last week and a half had been heaven. Yes, she’d been tired from working with the kids all day, but coming home to Owl was a dream come true. And now she questioned everything about that. She’d been duped before, and while she didn’t think Owl was anywhere in the same league as Ridge, she couldn’t help but wonder if, once again, she’d let her overly romantic hopes and dreams overpower her common sense.
She wasn’t really surprised when Owl appeared in the bedroom doorway a moment later. He didn’t walk over to where she lay on the bed, which she appreciated.
He leaned against the doorjamb and crossed his arms.
“I’m sorry.”
Lara blinked in surprise. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but from past experience, she kind of thought he’d lead off with some sort of defensive explanation for not telling her about the helicopter or the trip. She wasn’t surprised that Cora had told him she’d spilled the beans.
She didn’t respond to his apology.
“When you first got here, you slept like that,” he said quietly.
Confused, Lara didn’t lift her head, but she couldn’t deny that he had her attention.
“Curled in a little ball. Protecting yourself from the world. And the fact that you’re doing that again…it kills me. BecauseIdid that. I made you feel as if you had to protect yourself from me.” The agony in his voice almost made Lara sit up and open her arms to him. But she stayed where she was. Watching. Waiting.
Owl shifted just inside the room with his back to the wall, then he slowly slid down so he was sitting. He lifted his knees and rested his arms on them as he continued to stare at her.
“All those months ago, when you first got here, people were surprised at how unfazed I was when you refused to let me out of your sight. My friends offered to relieve me all the time. Cora begged me to take a break and let her stay with you. But I refused. You want to know why?”
Lara tried to tamp down her curiosity. But she couldn’t. She gave him a small nod.
“Because I needed you as much as you needed me. You ever watched any of those military shows on TV?”
She frowned. It seemed like an abrupt change in topic, but she gave him another small nod.
“Yeah, the Navy SEALs shows are awesome. They’re alpha, protective, brave, and as badass as it gets. Every woman’s ideal when it comes to what they want in a partner. The firefighter shows? They’re the same. Those men run into burning buildings when everyone else is running out. In real life, they’re heroes. The ones who get the news stories, the movie deals, the books written about them.
“Then there’s me. How many times have you even looked twice at the persondrivingin those shows? The guy flying the helicopter that dodges RPGs, mountains, machine gun fire, and every bad guy within a ten-mile radius trying to take him down? Or the guy driving the firetruck? The person who’s flying those planes over wildfires, through the smoke and flames, to either drop retardant or the hot shot firefighters?
“Never,” he said, answering his own question.
Lara frowned, understanding where he was going…and not liking it at all.
“Stone and I weren’t SEALs. We weren’t Delta Force Operatives. We’re pilots. Damn good ones. But only pilots. We weren’t sure the Army would send anyone after us when we crashed. At least, not in as timely a manner as we needed them to. Because there are always more pilots. Eventually, yes, they did send help, but we’re pretty sure it’s because of the videos that were blasted all over the Internet. Having us in the terrorists’ clutches was bad PR for the military. So they sent in one of those badass teams to bring us home.
“Even then, we weren’t treated as heroes. We weren’t on the news or interviewed forPeople Magazine. Our rescuers were in high demand for interviews. For their perspective on what happened. Because of those damn videos, people wereembarrassedfor Stone and me. Our skinny, pale, naked asses weren’t the kind of muscular physiques that made for good entertainment. We faded into the background. We were merely a footnote in the War on Terror. Invisible, which in some ways was what we needed…but it stung too.
“But you, Lara, yousawme. To you, I wasn’t merely the pilot. I was important. Needed. And it feltgood. So damn good. I didn’t mind that you needed me near. It was wrong of me, I know that, but for so long, I craved being important to someone. So much that I didn’t fight your dependence on me.
