Page 40 of Deranged
What did I do now? I’d spent my life and thousands of dollars to become a doctor. If I didn’t practice, what could I do with myself?
I had a savings I’d built since I got my first job out of med school. It would last me for a while, but certainly not long enough to develop an entirely new life plan and enact it. Why didn’t I come up with a plan for the inevitable? Plans made me feel grounded and safe. Somewhere between Kory’s sheets and my office, I’d lost that part of myself.
When it came down to it, I’d put myself in this situation. Demeter might have helped spur things along, but she isn’t the one who caused me to sleep with a patient before she was transferred from my care, regardless of my excuses to myself. She isn’t the one who caused me to fall in love with her daughter.
I punched the numbers on my cell phone while I continued to drive, where, I didn’t know. A few short rings, and a husky voice asked, “Who is this?”
“Demeter, you answer your own phone. What a surprise.”
“Doctor, how are you? How’s your day going? Well, I expect.”
I considered my words carefully. She wasn’t going to back down. What did she have to gain from giving in to anything I demanded. “Is Kory okay?”
Demeter’s tone hardened. “My daughter is no longer your concern. You have no right to see her or ask about her. As far as you’re concerned, she doesn’t exist, and I don’t want to hear Persephone’s name from your lips again. Good night, Doctor. I hope you make a better choice of enemies in the future. If you even have one.”
The phone clicked off, and I stared at the still lit screen before pulling my car to the side of the road. Of course she considered me her enemy. I suspected that woman considered anyone and everyone her enemy unless she could bribe or somehow take ownership of them. And if she had realized sooner that she could have done the same with me by releasing Kory, maybe I wouldn’t have to make the next call I needed to make.
I pulled the phone from the hand’s free cradle, and it snapped shut in the quiet of my car. I dialed the number I’d added to my phone after I realized the truth about Kory’s life. Somehow knowing I’d one day have to make this choice and this sacrifice.
I hit the button and waited while the phone rang. It went to a generic voice message request system. I wished he’d answered himself, but he likely didn’t recognize my number and wouldn’t answer it directly.
“Donny, this is Ash. Call me back when you get this message. I have a request, and I’m willing to pay whatever you ask if you can make it happen.” I paused. “When you make it happen.”
Chapter Seventeen
Kory
I’d refused to let the nurses clean up the mess I made. As if them cleaning it made it real and I would have own up to my part in my prized possessions destruction. But today was a new day, and I was ready to face it. I scooted off the bed and over to the torn and twisted paper littering the floor. I was angry with myself for losing control of my emotions, but even more angry for letting myself feel the things I’d promised myself I never would.
A knock shot a bolt of shame through me, and I froze as Styx entered my room and surveyed the scene. I could only imagine what I looked like crouched like some animal over the remains of such beautiful ideas.
She closed my door behind her, sat my breakfast tray on the desk and stopped to help me clean up the mess. “You are still acting like a child. I thought I got through to you when we had out little chat.” Her detached tone made the scolding worse. Like a mother who wasn’t angry, simply disappointed.
I fell out of the couch and plopped ass first on the floor. “You are right. I’ve been acting like a child. I’ve been acting like I have some semblance of agency in my life. It’s time to accept this is it.”
She snapped her fingers in front of my face. “Girl, you are dumber than I thought if you think you have no control over your destiny. You just need to put on your big girl panties and face it.”
She made it sound so easy. I threw my hands up. “I get that you seem to have taken it upon yourself to ensure my continued existence in this world, but can you just tell me what to do here if you’re so goddamn smart.”
Her hands worked faster stacking paper and the empty shells of the covers. “Not my job to tell you what to do. It’s my job to make sure you eat, you take your medications, and you don’t hurt yourself under my watch. But you make it pretty fucking difficult storming around like a teenager with a hormone overload.”
Another knock on my door caused both of us to freeze. My strange doctor poked her head in. “Oh, I see you two are busy. Do you need some help?”
Both of us said, “No.” at the same time.
She folded herself into the room and sat on my bed. “What happened here?”
Great, another guilt trip was exactly what I needed. Another mouth to confirm I’m nothing more than rich petulant child. “Nothing,” I grumbled.
She shrugged and looked around my room as if she hadn’t done the exact same thing only a couple days ago. After a moment, she stood, stretched her long arms over her head, and nodded my way. “You should eat your breakfast. I’ll check in on you again soon.”
She walked out, and I stared after her. “She’s weird.”
Styx only grunted and continued cleaning up. Once every shred of paper marring my floor was tossed in the small bin, she nodded. “Get your shit together.” Then she, too, walked out.
I plopped back onto the bed and stared at my breakfast. I feared Ash coming back and seeing me like this, to feed me again, I wouldn’t be able to push him away a second time. I took the chair in front of my desk and ate quickly, barely tasting the oatmeal prepared exactly the way I liked it. Exactly the way Ash made it for me.
Tears began to roll down my face, and I let them fall. This imprisonment was so much easier to bear before I’d met him. Before I knew how he tasted and what he smelled like. Before I’d given him my heart and watched him walk away.
