Page 25 of Deranged
His eyes widened, and then guilt seeped from the edges until he pulled me close into his chest again. “Also nothing, I guess. Because I can’t think about what else.”
I wanted that smile back, so I pulled his face to mine and kissed him. “I can think of plenty of things so many women would pay you do for them.”
That won him over. A little upturn at the corner of his beautiful lips. I lay down against his chest again. “What do we do now?”
Experience and reason taught me not to let hope grow. As soon as it sparked, I needed to stamp it out. But in his arms, I couldn’t even get near enough to push it down. It blazed inside me, begging me to let it win just once. I didn’t want to doubt him. In fact, I wanted to let him carry me out of here right now.
He sighed heavily. “I’m not sure. I’m going to look into things, see if there are any documented cases of this sort of thing.”
I snorted. “I can help you there, Doc. There isn’t.”
“You’ve searched them all?”
“What else do I have to do in here for six months? I read. I read. Then I read some more until I can practically memorize.”
He blinked at me a few times, and I waited for everything to click into place. “That’s what’s up with all the psychologist references. You’ve researched your conditions to see what was going on, why you weren’t getting better.”
I nodded. “Everything. I’ve read every bit of information I could get access to. It wasn’t until my mom practically told me I was living in a fancy jail that I stopped and started reading what I wanted to. I couldn’t do it anymore. Let the hope grow…” My voice trailed off, and I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want to see the pity there. Not when only moments ago he’d lavished me with sexy smiles and gasping breathes.
I shifted on the bed, and he dragged me back into him. “No, you don’t get to push me away because it’s convenient for you. That’s not what this is.”
“Then what is it?” I threw my hands up. “Tell me, please. I don’t see a future between us when you could lose your license for looking at me sideways. Let alone if anyone found out what we just did.”
He bit his bottom lip and stared over my shoulder. “Nothing has to be decided now. We have time. We can think about it and figure out the right steps.”
I poked his chest. “No, you have time. You have the freedom to go out there and find whatever you want to find. I am stuck here until my mother deems fit to come and pick me up. Every second I’m stuck in here, I lose a little bit more…” A knock at the door interrupted my speech.
Chapter Ten
Ash
Ifroze, but she surged off the bed and kicked my shoe as far as she was able before facing the partially open door. “Did you need something?”
I almost didn’t recognize the ice in her tone. Not when she’d burned for me minutes ago.
The nurse must have recognized it, but I couldn’t make out which one was standing at the door.
“No. I spilled a bottle of water and wanted to clean it up before it got to my books. If the door had opened when it did, they would have gotten wet.”
She held the nurse’s gaze, steady, her hair a mess, her clothes rumpled. And yet she held herself like a queen speaking to a subject. A trick she learned from her mother no doubt, but it still punched a hole through my chest.
She gave the woman a wan smile until the sound of footsteps faded down the hall. She shut the door and collapsed on the edge of the bed. I scooted up next to her and pulled her into me, relieved she settled there.
“You saved me.”
She shook her head. “It’s no problem. The nurses here all know me. They barely want to speak to me let alone come in my room.”
That didn’t sit well with me. I considered the idea they were neglecting her in some way. If I found out they were, every single one of them would be out on their ass.
I didn’t realize I’d spoken aloud when she grabbed my upper arms and gazed into my eyes. Her brows were crushed tight, so were her lips. “No. If you do that, they will start gossiping, and in a week, you will be out on your ass. My mother will know, everyone will assume we are sleeping together, and you’ll lose everything.”
Her voice inched toward panic, so I rubbed my hand down her back trying to soothe her. “Calm down. I won’t say anything. But you need to promise you’ll tell me if they are treating you poorly. I’m serious.”
She gave me a reluctant nod and scooted away. “You should probably get going. Someone will realize your car is still here. If you wait a moment, the nurse will go downstairs to talk shit about me with the night nurse on the next floor. You can sneak by the desk no problem.”
I didn’t want to leave her here, alone. Damn, I didn’t want to leave her at all. But I did. I grabbed my shoes and crept into the hall. She’d been correct—the nurse was nowhere in sight. I quickly grabbed my bag from the office and walked out of the building.
Every inch further I walked from her, guilt settled more tightly like a vice around my torso. All the words she’d thrown at me, about keeping her prisoner, helping her mother, flooded back, and I resisted the urge to return to her, lay beside her, stay there with her until we got her free. Well and truly free once and for all.
