Page 93 of Tempt
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll work it out.”
CHAPTER19
ZACH
When I arrived home after being in Las Vegas with Millie, the silence in my apartment felt oppressive.
I was tired, but I didn’t feel like sleeping. I was hungry, but I didn’t feel like eating. I was lonely, but the only company I wanted was Millie’s, and I couldn’t have it.
If she lived here, maybe she’d be in the kitchen making something for us to eat, or maybe I’d have brought dinner home for the two of us. Maybe I’d have called her and said,I’m on my way, what would you like?Or maybe when I got home, she’d be waiting for me in bed. Instead of giving me the cold shoulder because I’d been gone for work again, she’d reach for me, tell me how much she missed me, make me feel happy to be home again.
I dropped onto the couch and rubbed my face, at a loss to understand what the hell was the matter with me. Once my divorce was final, I’d sworn that was it—I wouldn’t get tangled up with anyone again. The occasional good time here or there was fine, but no relationships. No commitments. No feelings.
But it was hard to deny I felt something for Millie beyond sexual attraction. I didn’t just want sex from her. I wanted tobewith her. All the time.
Too fucking bad.
Scowling, I got up from the couch and stalked into the kitchen.You can’t be with her, so quit pining like a jackass teenager.
I yanked open the fridge and stared at the pathetic contents—some leftover takeout, ketchup and mustard, eggs I didn’t remember buying, and a few apples. After checking the sell by date on the egg carton (long past), I chucked them down the disposal and ran it, wishing I could toss in my feelings too.
What was I even doing with her? How long could I expect her to keep running around the country to meet me for a night or two, lying to her family about where or why, knowing that there was absolutely no future for us? She’d told me what she wanted—a husband. Children. A family. She wanted kids so badly she was considering donor sperm so she could have them on her own, sooner rather than later.
The thought of some guy’s stuff anywhere near her made me want to throw a kitchen chair through the window. I had to lean on the edge of the sink and take several deep breaths to calm down.
But it wasn’t fair, what I was asking of her. The lying and the secrecy. Spending time with me she should be dedicating to her business. Giving me her attention instead of looking for the one who could give her what she wanted. I knew in my bones how unfair this was.
And yet, I wasn’t ready to give her up.
In a cupboard I found a random can of chili that hadn’t expired, dumped it into a bowl, and stuck it in the microwave. One more weekend, I vowed as I waited for it to heat up. One more secret meet-up and then we would break it off.
She texted me as I was rinsing my dishes.
Are you home yet? Want to call me?
I hit her name in my recents.
“Hello?”
I smiled at the sound of her voice. “Hey, gorgeous. How was your day?”
“Good! My dad took the day off and we started painting.”
“Oh yeah?” I took my phone into the bedroom and sat on the mattress.
“Yes, and remember that woman I told you about? The seamstress with all the wedding dress experience and the amazing references? She accepted my offer!”
“That’s great.”
“I’msorelieved. I still have a few people to interview for the sales positions, but that’s the job I worried about the most.”
“So everything is coming together.”
She laughed. “It might be a little too soon to say that, but things are off to a good start.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks. How was your trip home?”
