Page 25 of Tempt
I needed a breath too. “I get it. And I’ll answer your questions as well as I can, but I’m not sure anything I have to say will give you what you’re looking for.”
“Mostly, I’m looking for honesty.”
“I can do that.”
He smiled. “Thanks. I’d like to gain perspective on my past, as I take steps toward my future.” He glanced at Lori. “We’re looking forward to having our own family, but I feel like it’s important that I know where I came from too. It never felt right that I couldn’t say who my real dad was or why I didn’t know him.”
“It wasn’t right,” I said, glad as fuck when the server returned with my whiskey. I barely even let him put the glass on the table before I picked it up and took a few swallows.
“Let’s put in our orders now,” suggested Lori.
I quickly scanned the menu and ordered the first thing that caught my eye. As soon as the server retreated, I picked up my whiskey again. We made small talk for a couple more minutes before Mason leaned his elbows on the table and met my eyes. “So is it okay to ask now?”
After one more generous swallow, I set the glass down. “I should probably start by saying that even though I had no idea you were, uh, conceived or born, I’m really sorry that you grew up without a father. If I had known, things would have been different.”
“Would you have married her?”
“If that’s what she wanted.” For a second I wondered about that...whathadAndi wanted? When she first discovered she was pregnant, did she try to find me? Or was she so mad about the way I’d left, she kept the baby a secret as a way to punish me?
“It’s hard to know for sure what she wanted,” Mason said. “I know that she married her high school boyfriend before I was born, and I’m guessing that was because her parents shamed her into it.”
“I remember they were pretty strict,” I said. “She told me they hated that she worked in a bar.”
“I barely remember them.” Mason shrugged, his eyes growing a little cold. “And they were never that interested in me.”
“I’m sorry,” I said again.
“So did you meet her where she worked?” Lori asked.
I took another sip of whiskey. “Yes, in the pub where she waitressed. I was eighteen, same as she was. I’d joined the Navy right after high school graduation, gone to boot camp and then A School, and I had a few days before I had to report for duty in Norfolk. My mom guilted me into going up to Frankenmuth to visit my dad.”
“Your parents were divorced?” asked Lori.
I nodded. “They split when I was nine. It was—they had—” Swirling the whiskey in my glass, I debated how much to reveal. “Things were tough at home.”
“And you had no brothers or sisters?” she asked.
I hesitated. Took a sip. “Actually, I had a sister.”
“You did?” Mason was surprised, since I’d hidden the truth when he asked about siblings before.
“Yes. Her name was Penelope, but we called her Poppy. She was four years younger than me.” I swallowed hard. “We lost her when she was three.”
Lori gasped. “I’m so sorry. Was she sick?”
I shook my head and drained the last of my whiskey. “It was an accident.”
Immediately, Lori put her hands over her cheeks. “Oh, how awful. I’m really sorry, Zach.”
“Me too,” said Mason quietly.
I shoved the image of the little girl in the butterfly shirt from my mind. “Anyway, the marriage never recovered. My dad left and eventually remarried. My mom and I stayed in Cleveland.” I looked Mason in the eye. “I’m sorry I wasn’t honest when you asked me on the phone about siblings. It’s not something I talk about.”
“I understand,” he said. “It’s okay. Thank you for telling me now.”
It struck me that Andi had managed to raise a sensitive, empathetic son despite how hard it must have been for her, and how easy it would be for Mason to be accusatory or bitter. It made me want to be as forthcoming as possible with him. “Truth be told, Mason, I wasn’t all that mature or responsible in those days. I had a lot of anger, I was hot-headed and reckless. I wanted to settle things by yelling or fighting. The Navy was doing its best to whip me into shape, but I wasn’t there yet.”
“Eighteen is young,” Lori said.
