Page 110 of Tempt
“I don’t even know what that is.” I looked at him. “What am I doing with my life? What do I want?”
He nodded slowly, then rubbed one finger beneath his mouth. “Is there any chance,” he began, “that you’dconsiderhaving a family with her? Like, if the vasectomy could be reversed?”
I frowned. “Every once in a while, the thought occurs to me, and then I think, ‘Are you fucking serious? You’d have agrandchildolder than your own kid.’ It’s too messed up. And those reversals don’t always work.”
“What about adoption?”
“I’m not asking her to give up having her own child for me. No way.”
“You don’t think she’d like to be the one to make that choice?”
“Look, we already had this discussion, and you were the one who told me I had to break it off,” I said testily. “I did the right thing.”
“Okay, okay.” He held up his hands. “I hear you. I just want to make sure you’re doing the right thing for the rightreason. We’ve known each other a long time, Barrett. You know my past and I know yours.”
I looked away from him and clenched my jaw. “This isn’t about the past.”
But I had a hard time sleeping that night, wondering if, somehow, it was.
CHAPTER24
MILLIE
The Cloverleigh Farms Christmas Eve party was in full swing.
Guests dressed in cocktail attire were milling around the inn’s spacious lobby, which was fully decked out for the holidays. A towering evergreen stood in one corner, dazzling with white lights and gold ornaments. A fire in the huge stone fireplace warmed the room, and stockings for every employee hung along the wide wooden banister of the staircase. Carols played on the inn’s sound system, a bar was set up at the reception desk, and long rectangular tables covered in white linen were laden with serving platters. Everyone was eating, drinking, chatting, and enjoying high spirits.
Except me.
I was doing my best to fake it, standing with Winnie and Dex near the tree, glass of wine in my hand, watching Hallie and Luna toss pieces of popcorn at each other’s open mouths from farther and farther away. Every now and again, I glanced at Winnie’s left hand and thought to myself,By this time tomorrow, she’ll be wearing that ring.
But mostly I kept my eyes on the door, watching for Zach to come in. We hadn’t spoken since he left my house over two weeks ago. Was he even in town? Maybe he’d decided not to come. Even if he was in town, the chances he’d actually show up at this party were slim to none. But Mason and Lori weren’t here yet, so anything was possible.
Felicity wandered over and tugged my sleeve. “Hey. Come here.”
I followed her around the corner, into the hallway that led to the bathrooms on one side and the inn’s bar on the other, which was closed and dark. “What?”
“I’m just checking on you.”
I shrugged. “I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
“Of course I’m not sure. I’m checking the door every thirty seconds, terrified he’s going to walk through it and equally terrified he won’t, and I’ll never see him again.”
She put her hand on my upper arm. “I’m sorry. I can see how upset you are. Can I do anything to help?”
“Remind me that we did the right thing. That carrying on with him was only going to lead to worse heartbreak down the road. That someday I’ll be as happy as you are with Hutton.”
“All of that is true,” she said.
“I know.” I took a shaky breath. “I know it is.”
“Come on, let’s go get some more wine.” She took my hand and led me over to the bar, where several bottles of wine were lined up. “Okay, what are you drinking? We’ve got pinot, we’ve got cab, we’ve got—”
“Oh, God.” My entire body stiffened. “He’s here.”
She glanced over her shoulder toward the door.
