Page 36 of Consequences of Their Wedding Charade
And if she refused, what would he do next?
Yes, they were friends, but the ground would shift irrevocably underneath their friendship with a child in the equation.
Where she lived, the lack of space, the cramped neighbourhood—all of that would now enter the realms of his concern. Would he think about claiming custody of their child? If he genuinely felt that he could provide a better life for a child because of his vast financial base, then wouldn’t he just go for it? Whilst still telling her what good friends they were?
Jess knew that the racing of her mind wasn’t going to get her anywhere, but the first drips of cold fear trickled through her as scenario upon scenario formed in her head.
‘Money isn’t everything, Curtis,’ she said weakly. ‘Think of all the rich people you know who aren’t happy.’
‘William knows about us.’ Curtis abruptly changed the subject and she gaped at him for a few seconds, her mind still occupied with raging worst case scenarios.
‘What are you talking about?’
‘We were papped at the wedding. The picture was innocuous enough. The accompanying text less so. I had to wrench the hows and wherefores out of him, but the bottom line is that all the innuendo in the very brief few sentences under that picture imply a serious relationship between the two of us.’
‘But did you set him straight?’ Jess gasped.
‘No.’
‘Why not? When did you have this conversation with him? He never mentioned a word to me about anything!’
‘He didn’t want to appear nosy. The reason I didn’t put him straight was because, as you pointed out, William’s mental health has not been great since he said goodbye to active life at the university. Also...’
‘Also?’
Curtis flushed and pushed his bowl to the side so that he could relax into the chair whilst continuing to look at her with brooding intensity. ‘Also, he seems to think that I’m the sort of guy to take advantage of you for my own nefarious purposes, only to dispose of you when I get bored.’
‘Ahh...’
‘Defineahh...’
‘I suppose...’ for the first time during their fraught conversation she was diverted enough to smile as years of friendship kicked in ‘...youdocome with some form in that department, Curtis.’
He grimaced and returned her smile. ‘My track record doesn’t do me justice.’ He raised both hands in mock surrender as her eyebrows shot up. ‘Okay, I can see why he assumed what he did, but Jess, itdoesleave us in a bit of a quandary in light of this new development.’
‘Why?’ She stuck her chin out at a mutinous angle. ‘William wasn’t born yesterday, Curtis. He knows that not all relationships end in marriage, that sometimes that’s not possible.’
‘Sometimes,’ Curtis told her quietly, ‘the head doesn’t always win the argument.’
‘What are you trying to say?’ Jess demanded helplessly.
‘Marry me, Jess. I suppose that’s what I’m trying to say.’
She gaped at him in open incredulity. ‘Marryyou?’
She wondered whether she’d missed a vital link or a sentence somewhere, but then she remembered that he had proposed once before to a woman he hadn’t wanted to be with for the sake of the child she had purported to be carrying for him. He was a decent guy. It was why she...had always liked and admired him. More than that. But decency didn’t win when it came to a lifetime together. Love held all the trump cards in that respect and, as much as Curtis liked her and respected her and had fun with her, and had even made love with her, he didn’tloveher.
He was prepared to do the right thing but, face it, she thought with painful honesty, he was a guy with a very healthy libido and a penchant for ‘moving on’ when it came to relationships. Once the enthusiasm for doing the decent thing had worn off and once William had been satisfied in assuming that his godson had sticking power when it came to her, Jess, then what would happen next?
Discreet affairs?
He would break her heart. She loved him. She’d loved him for ever and she expected she always would. It was an admission she had managed to bury in her subconscious but now she took it out, aired it, faced up to it and accepted it with a certain amount of dull resignation.
Marry him and she would be left picking up the pieces and she would never be able to glue them back together again. Wasn’t that why she had walked away from the temptation to carry on what they’d had in Courchevel? Hadn’t she known, even then, that she had to protect herself?
‘Of course I’m not going tomarryyou, Curtis! I wouldn’t hurt your godfather for all the tea in China, but I also won’t sacrifice my entire life to a loveless marriage. I deserve better than that. Webothdo.’
He looked at her in silence for so long that she began to fidget.
