Page 50 of When the Time Is Right
“Hey!” she objected.
Dropping it at our feet, I pleaded, “Can you just give me something here? I couldn’t sleep last night.”
She crossed her arms over her damp T-shirt. “Have you tried melatonin? I hear it works wonders.”
“Damn it, Lex,” I snapped, raking a hand through the top of my hair. “I’m serious. I feel like I’m losing it right now. I don’t know who to talk to. No, strike that. I can’t talk to anyone even if I had someone because I don’t know what the hell is going on between us.”
“I don’t know, either!” she exploded, and pissed off as she was, I breathed a huge sigh of relief.
Angry and ranty Lex, I could handle.
“This is new to me too, okay? You’re Hudson. The idea of kissing you should be only slightly less stomach-churning than kissing Cal. But it wasn’t. And I really fucking enjoyed it and that just confuses me more. Because I can’t stop thinking about it. And part of me really wants to so we can just go back to normal.” She sucked in a shaky breath that might as well have destroyed me. “The other part of me is terrified that nothing is ever going to be normal between us again. I’m a tad overwhelmed here, okay?”
“Hey,” I breathed, closing the distance between us. I rested a hand on her hip and gave her a squeeze. “Easy. It’s okay. Don’t get upset. We’re fine. If you want normal, I can do that. Just relax. We’re good.”
Looking off to the side, she whispered, “This doesn’t feel good.”
Damn if she wasn’t right. The kiss had felt good. Actually having her in my arms had felt incredible. But the unknown and uncertainty that followed was awful.
You meet a woman, kiss a woman, date a woman, and then shit falls apart. No big deal. You go your separate ways. But what happens when that woman is such an integral part of your life that going your separate ways sounds like not only a nightmare, but also an impossibility?
However, there was some pretty heavy chemistry between the two of us, and I too was worried that after last night there wouldn’t be a version of normal when I didn’t look at her and fight the urge to take her mouth again. I was just as confused and overwhelmed as she was.
But we were friends first and there was nothing I wouldn’t do to make this easier on her.
“Time out,” I said, and thankfully, her gaze came back to mine.
“What?”
“Time out. We put a pin in this for now. We get the normal back. You don’t ghost me. We don’t talk about it. We think about it for a few days, and when you’re ready, we’ll figure it out.”
She offered me a tight smile. “I can do that.”
“Me too.” I gave her one last squeeze before dropping my hand and taking a giant step back.
We stared at each other for several beats, and then I cleared my throat and gave her back the normal we both needed.
“So, anyway, I hate to interrupt you and your power washing fetish, but I just stopped by to see what you were doing tonight. Lauren called about an hour ago and said Investment Banker Mark is finally free for a meet and greet. What do you say you shave your mountain man leg hair and put on a dress and go with me? I could really use the backup on this one.”
She grinned, and it struck me so hard it nearly rocked me back a step. Lex had smiled at me no less than a million times in my life.
Midlaugh after she’d beaten me in a game of darts.
Fake and full of agony as I’d offered her my arm to guide her out of Brenden’s funeral.
Teasing from across the room as she’d snuck Jack a bag of water balloons from her purse.
But this one was different, and it struck me like a thousand arrows falling from the sky because I knew to the core of my soul she should have been in my arms when she grinned up at me like that.
“You wearing a suit?” she asked.
“Good God, no.”
Her smile grew, and so did the pain in my chest.
“You paying for dinner?”
“Yes, but only because I already checked the menu and they don’t serve lobster. And you’re limited to one dessert.”
“And one to go.”
“None to go,” I corrected.
“We’ll see.” She winked. “What time?”
“Seven.”
“Okay. I’m in. Honestly, this works out. I’ve been dying to interrogate this Mark fellow. I don’t trust just anybody with my Jackie-boy.”
And just like that, things were normal again.
Only not really.
Not at all.
And not even close.Running on no sleep, I took a two-hour nap as soon as I got home. When I woke up, I was still twisted up over all things Alexis Lawson, but the rest had done wonders for my mindset when it came to meeting Mark. After a quick shower, in which I miraculously didn’t touch my cock, I put on navy slacks and a white button-down that I spent entirely too long picking out for it to have had anything to do with Mark, and then I was on my way.
