Page 135 of Demo
“OK!” I shout. Clutching my fists to my stomach, I squeeze my eyes shut then blink them back open. “You were a drug lush. And, yes, you have always clung tight to your dad’s company but not because you weren’t good enough. You are so talented, Knox. You should branch off and start your own business. But you never will because you self-sabotage, and you make excuses.”
I see his brows rise, and I know I’m treading on thin ice, but I don’t care. I’m ready to rumble. “Well, you know what? It’s time to put your big boy pants on and grow the hell up.”
“Oh, I need to grow up?”
“YES!” We are now circling each other on the small plot of snow-covered grass in front of the apartment building, like jungle cats ready to pounce. I see the upstairs neighbor peeking out the window between the blinds, and a teenager shoveling snow on the sidewalk down the street has stopped to watch.
“Why did you even marry me, then? You knew who I was and what I brought to the table before you said, ‘I do,’ so why did you?” he asks through clenched teeth.
“Honestly,” I say softly, but sternly. “I’m asking myself the same thing right about now.”
I hear a car pull up and look over my shoulder to see Dee’s car idling on the street. Her door opens, and she steps out and looks over the roof at me and Knox, taking in the scene. “Everything OK?” she asks me.
“Can I just have a second?” I ask her.
She nods and gets back into the car.
I hear Knox shoot one last dagger my way. “I should have never asked, again,” he says. “After you …” He trails off, but I don’t let him get away with it.
“Say it,” I grit out.
“After we dodged that first bullet, and you ghosted me, I should have just stayed away. Saved myself a lot of fucking grief.”
My chest cracks open, both by his words and by the look on his face that tells me he already regrets them. But it’s too late.
Oh, I want you to incinerate, motherfucker. “Wow, your mother would be really proud of the man you’ve become, you know that?” I say.
Knox’s nostrils flare, he sucks in a sharp intake of air, and I swear his eyes water. I crossed a line. But I don’t care. I’m done caring. I don’t have any more care in me.
I turn and head toward the road and get in Dee’s car. She doesn’t say one word before she puts the car in drive and peels away from the apartment, and Knox, as fast as she can. She may not know exactly what went down, but she’s my best friend and that comes with enough intuition to know I need to get away, and fast.
Breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth again and again as I look out the window, I remind myself there is a world beyond Knox. I existed before him, and I can exist after him.
***
Emily and the baby are both sleeping when I get to the hospital to retrieve my car, thankfully, because I have to pick up my key, and Bram is much less observant than Emily and doesn’t notice my mood or general unease.
Once I get in the car, I know I’m too fired up to waste this energy on someone undeserving, so I head right to the one place I’ve thought about going for months now. It’s already afternoon when I find a spot to park on the street and head up to the apartment building. I’ve only been here once or twice, but I know it’s the right place. I open the outside door and then hit the buzzer for the appropriate apartment number while I wait inside the entryway, behind a door that needs to be unlocked either with a key or from the inside.
I hit the buzzer again, and then a familiar voice answer. “Hello?”
The sound of her voice hits me in the gut, and while I remain silent, she answers again. “Hello? Anyone there?”
“Um, yeah,” I reply. “It’s, uh. It’s Lyzbeth.”
There’s a moment of silence, and I hear rustling coming through the speaker. “Look,” I say. “I just have to ask you a question about the night of the accident. It’s important. Can you come down?”
The line goes dead, and I wonder if that was her way of hanging up on me, but then I hear footsteps and see Jenny coming down the stairs. She has a long, thick, light gray open sweater wrapped around her, with her arms hugging her body, legs covered in skinny jeans. Her hair is piled in a messy bun. As she approaches the glass locked door she pauses, then hits a button, and it opens with a buzz. She steps into the entryway with me, and the door closes behind her.
Suddenly the air is thick, the space is small, and my hands are shaking.
So are Jenny’s.
She clears her throat and starts talking without looking at me. “I guess this visit is overdue,” she says softly. “Honestly, I thought you would be knocking on my door a lot sooner.”
“I’m only here because I have a very specific question for you, and after I get the answer, I really hope to never see you again. Never hear your name again. Never think of you again.”
She nods, her arms still crossed over her chest. “You said it has to do with the night of the accident?”
