Page 66 of Plaidypus
“I don’t know, I just like this form. Lucifer showed it to me,” she replied.
“She’s the very stereotypically named hell horse. Mostly, the hell horse is a shapeshifter perk. Devils and demons learn to take the form. It’s not really a species, just a preferred shape for getting around my many hells. I’m tempted to make an actual species, though. I simply don’t have enough equines. Wherearemy nightmares, anyway?”
Kanika laughed. “Diana did not feel like running around Australia on a wild goose chase, noting that your schedule had been mysteriously cleared for the rough duration of our trip here. As such, she assumed you would be showing up, and she felt ruling over your many hells for a few days beat sweltering beneath the blistering Australian sun. She isn’t wrong. Malcolm and I came on her behalf. It seemed saner. I did promise I wouldn’t actually try to kill you this time if you showed up. But I can’t even argue with your plan. For once in your life, it’s a sensible plan.”
“You just wanted more time with Malcolm,” Lucifer accused.
Kanika stared at him. “Yes. I’m punishing him for tricking me into marrying him.”
“That word does not mean what you think it means,” he muttered.
“Which one?” I asked, as there were at least two options of words being misused in the woman’s statement.
“Punishing. That is not a man being punished. He’s a man who feels he’s the king of the world and isn’t quite sure why he’s being rewarded, but he’s enjoying it while he can. The tricking part isn’t all that out of line. It was more of a threat response, but he definitely took advantage of it as much as she took advantage of Georgia’s marriage laws.”
“It’s true,” Kanika admitted. “I follow him around to make sure he doesn’t change his mind.”
The kelpie leveled a glare at his wife, both ears turned back.
Lucifer laughed. “He wants you to know he is going to give you corrective therapy tonight. I’m not sure which one of you naughty equines started that, but you’re allbad.”
Bailey pointed at her husband. “I blame him.”
“Well, he is part incubus, so that makes sense. I guess you’re the naughty equine taking the fall for everything today, Sam.”
“Do you need some corrective therapy, Bailey?” Sam asked.
“Desperately.”
“As you tried to steal Nadine’s rod, I’ll have to thoroughly correct you tonight.”
“Whee!” Bailey clapped her hands. “I have a thorough corrective therapy session tonight, so can we please get going to wherever we’re going?”
“Only if I get the foals for a week,” the Devil said. “At Christmas. You may visit your foals at Christmas if you’d like.”
“Merry Christmas to us, Sam!”
The cindercorn stallion eyed his uncle. “I’m really not sure which one of us won that bargain, but if you’re offering a week with my wife, if you want the foals, you have to take the gorgons and others, too.”
“Darlene?”
“I will destroy you if you say no to having all of the children,” the succubus wearing hell horse clothing announced.
“We would be pleased to welcome all of your various younglings and others for the week around Christmas, with you having visitation rights on Christmas,” Lucifer stated.
“Bargain made,” Bailey crowed, and she bounced in the saddle, banging her legs against her husband’s sides. “Hurry up and go already.”
“You do not have an excuse for this.” The cindercorn eyed his wife. “You did not have a single sip of coffee.”
“That coffee ban is awful. Not the worst, but awful.”
“What’s worse than a coffee ban?” I asked, unable to help myself.
“The dire lack of attention I’ve received since we’ve arrived in Australia. Do you know what’s not available when in a group like thisridingacross the country? Privacy.” Bailey hissed at the Devil. “I need some privacy!”
“I already promised to teleport everyone to my home, and there are even guest rooms because I married the most beautiful tyrant in the universe.”
“It’s not like you have to let the fucking assholes stay in them. If you hadn’t viewed the fucking assholes as guests like a dummy for thousands of years, the concept of proper guest rooms wouldn’t bother you. Anyway, I refuse to give the new lycanthropes their own rooms, so they’re just going to have to cuddle together on a nice big bed and get to know each other. At a minimum, they’ll snuggle, and lycanthropes fresh from snuggling are less likely to try to murder you.”
