Page 42 of Plaidypus
My platypus’s rage simmered. My wolf growled in my head, her desire to join Belial in bringing about ruin burning beneath my skin. “My animals are not happy.”
“They are interested in a male already. You have the standard markers of a lycanthrope female on the prowl for a specific male. The male hasn’t told you no, so the virus and your shapeshifting partner are fixated on him. That’s actually not a bad situation for you. I can manipulate that marker to prevent any other males from having a chance with you. The alternative is to secure a mating bond, but breaking an actual bond is traumatizing. I would rather not traumatize you. Your first option doesn’t influence your potential mate, either. All I would be doing is convincing the virus she’s taken and just waiting to be properly courted. At the same time, I would be putting a magical pair of blinders on your platypus, so the only male she’ll acknowledge is the one she’s currently interested in. That would allow the gentleman you’re interested in to have a chance to court you and your animals at your leisure. Of course, knowing that you have two invested animals, I would be lighting a fire under the ass of your gentleman to see what he’ll do upon hearing you’re being targeted by an unethical bunch of breathing corpses.”
I raised a brow. Leonard had done an excellent job of capturing my animals’ attention along with mine. However, I hardly counted our short interlude in life a strong foundational piece for the rest of our lives. His ability to make hot chocolate and wear plaid well gave him a foot in the door. If the man wanted a relationship, he’d have to meet me in the middle.
I’d seen a good relationship, the one between my mother and father, where they met in the middle often. Things went wrong often enough, but not only were my parentsfriends, they were partners and worked through their problems together.
However much people liked to say that parents should love their children above all else, including each other, I disagreed.
My parents loved each other above all, and Matthieu and I came a close second. Neither one of us minded, and both of us appreciated that we were the product of a lasting love—one that wouldn’t fall apart the instant we became adults.
I wanted that sort of love for myself.
Pondering the possibilities, including attempting to unravel the mystery that was Leonard Andretti, would have to wait. I had more important things to do.
“Breathing corpses?” I asked, in an attempt to take my mind off the handsome Canadian who’d come calling.
“They’ve sealed their fate. Belial is enraged, and when he is enraged, his ruin comes in the form of bloodshed. It prevents that sort of filth from targeting someone else, and he feels they’re unredeemable. That tells me there are some lady lycanthropes stuck in unwanted mating bonds with men they would prefer to live without. We will do what we can for those victims. I have plenty of incubi who want to settle down for some reason. For some reason, there are incubi who enjoy being captured for a few hundred years by enterprising lycanthropes.” Lucifer shrugged. “You’re handling this better than I thought you would.”
“I think Icy and my brother did a good job of numbing me,” I admitted. “I hope Icy is all right.”
“Icy is fine, and she’ll be accompanying you. After you’re finished with your dinner, you’ll be exhausted because your virus will be trying to recuperate. That’s when I’ll take you home with me, tuck you into one of the guest beds, and make certain you sleep through your first visit to my many hells. While you’re recovering, I’ll retrieve Icy, help my father with whateverHisplan is for her, and find a suitable bull for her. I’ll need to open space in the conservatory for her, but that’s fine.”
“Conservatory?” Inhell? “What conservatory?”
“I love animals. Most animals don’t love me, at least not without repeated exposure to me. The smarter the animal, the faster it will adapt to me. There are certain types of fish too stupid to fear me, and as such, I love them almost as much as my wife does. I bought our first betta trying to give my wife a gift so she had something she could relate to in our home. Mortals sometimes have a hard time adapting to life in my many hells. Ruby challenged me. He still does, even decades later. He loves it. He sees me, and he rightfully dares me to try to best him. He usually wins.”
The Devil was challenged by afish? “I want to meet this fish.”
“You’ll see plenty of him, I’m sure. He stays in our primary residence along with his girlfriend.” Lucifer chuckled and gestured at my dinner. “You finish eating. I’ll gather your things and make certain you have everything you need for your time in Australia. All you really need to know is that I’ll be sending you to somewhere safe, and I’ll give you all the information you need to either protect yourself or rain down some hell on these pieces of filth. In either case, I will give you the tools you need to do as you want.”
“And these cindercorns and vampires?”
“The funny thing about predetermined fates is that no matter what you do, you will be the catalyst for what is to come. You can act. You can choose not to act. No matter what you do, your presence in Australia is what will make the rest of the pieces fall into place. But, in my not-so-humble opinion, you would be wise to choose your own fate. And remember that these pieces of filth will not stop with you. It’s better to stop them now. Well, I will stop them now. The only question is this: will you be helping me bring an end to the terrors they plan to inflict on others?”
Some decisions were easy to make. “You know that sliver of malice the geese didn’t get?”
“I’m aware of it.”
Maybe it was the wolf in me, or maybe it was the platypus—or maybe it was just a dark part of me I’d always repressed, but little appealed quite as much as making sure I would be the last person the group ever targeted. “They don’t have it because I do.”
Lucifer smiled. “Finish your supper. Tomorrow is going to be the beginning of their end, and I’m looking forward to the chaos we’ll bring.”
TWELVE
So much for being a nice, polite Canadian.
After enjoying the brisk chill of a late Canadian fall skirting on winter, the summer sun in Australia threatened to roast me alive. The Devil sent a pair of incubi along to help me get settled, and they took their time making sure my weak Canadian flesh wouldn’t char. Rather than arouse as expected, their touch did a good job of sending me straight back to sleep. Something about the cream kept me cool when I otherwise would have boiled to death.
When they finished, one woke me and said, “That will hold for two weeks no matter how long you shower for. It will also repel Australia’s venomous species. Lucifer would rather not lose a new minion to sun stroke or the local wildlife. Everything else you need is in your purse, and your companion shall be along shortly. She’s receiving instruction.”
I had no idea how the Devil planned on instructing an undead moose, but rather than ask, I thanked the incubi, and they teleported away, leaving me to enjoy the beach. I assumed some form of magic kept the Australians at bay, as they paid me, my beach chair, and my shady umbrella no attention. Assuming I made it back to North America where I belonged, I would make a point of scheduling a trip to the beach every few years.
I’d just make sure the beach in question lacked things out to kill me.
Lucifer, in his effort to make certain I escaped from my adventure alive and capable of doing his dirty work, had left me with a pictorial guide on the various ways Australia might kill me if I lowered my guard. My beach, in particular, boasted rip tides as the top way humans and other sentients might come to an early demise. While there were jellyfish, outside of allergic reactions, they’d inflict mild discomfort at worst.
Thanks to some magic, the sharks were more likely to cuddle with unsuspecting people rather than eat them. A mile from the coast, all bets were off, but within the safe perimeter, people could venture into the water without fear.
