Page 63 of Plaidypus
“Big,” Darlene commented. “I think he’s even bigger than the lady at home.”
“By four inches,” Lucifer confirmed. “And he outweighs Nadine by ten pounds. His lady only outweighs her by a pound.”
Damn. “It’s good to be a lycanthrope. I’m not sure I could have done that as just a shapeshifter. Maybe if I had a brace and waited for the fish to become tired.”
“You very probably couldn’t have landed it without some help.” The Devil went down onto shore, touched his hand to the flopping fish’s side, and vanished, once again leaving me with a bare hook and a limp line.
“I love that we didn’t have to tear the hook out. And that he’ll be taken care of once he’s home.” I set my rod down, went to get one of my other ones, and set it up so the cindercorn could fish. “I’m Nadine, and this is one of my rods. If Lucifer annoys you when he gets back, if you break my rod over his head, please make him replace it.”
She laughed and accepted my rod. “Thanks. I’m Bailey. The stallion napping over there is Sam. Kanika and Malcolm are at a store a block from here. Kanika saw an accessory for her car she wants, and Malcolm is calming her down enough they can go into the store without anyone or anything being broken in the process.”
“What sort of accessory is causing that much excitement?”
“It’s a kelpie decal, and it looks a lot like Malcolm,” Bailey replied. “Kanika loses her mind whenever she findsanythingthat reminds her of Malcolm. Honestly, it’s sweet although a little exhausting. We were getting ready to come here, and Kanika showed up, convinced her father would somehow find a way to ruin everything. Malcolm just laughed. I suspect Malcolm knew Lucifer was already involved but wanted to go on a road trip. And Kanika loves when Malcolm prances around as a kelpie, so she’s in heaven. That decal just woke the treasure-hoarding beast.”
Darlene giggled. “That girl is something else. I wasn’t expecting her to be a source of destruction when I held her as a baby fresh off the boat from Egypt, but I approve. I did instruct her to kick ass until she came back home to us. Mostly, she’s a delightfully troublesome daughter, which makes life fun. I’m glad she did come, though. I was worried she’d want to hold down the fort out of fear the fucking assholes would run amok.”
Ah. Somehow, I’d fallen in with the Heir of Hell, too? Then again, with Lucifer around, I shouldn’t have been surprised. “I can’t even remember if she was supposed to come,” I admitted.
“I don’t remember, either,” Darlene admitted. “I got carried away when Lucy decided we were going on a road trip, too.”
Leonard approached, and he held out the iced mocha, which had somehow survived without melting. “Are you all right?”
I accepted the drink, smiled, and took a sip. After a moment and a contented sigh, I pointed at my new rods. “Lucifer took me into a tackle shop and let me go wild. I didn’t have to pick just one. We also got camping supplies, and Icy has a pretty new saddle and halter. We’ve been having a good time. I’m sorry if you’ve been worried, but I have to end the assholes who bargained with some devil to force me to come to Australia. Lucifer gave me a weapon or two, and he’s encouraging me to use them. As such, the road trip isn’t over yet.”
“How can I help?” he replied, raising a brow.
I stared at him with wide eyes, and at a complete loss of how to handle a man telling me something that sexy without actually flirting with me, I turned to the one being present who might be able to help me. “Darlene?”
The succubus giggled. “It’s almost as sexy as a man asking if he can help hide the body, isn’t it?”
I nodded, as it was one thing to help with a murder, but another to go all the way, working to hide the evidence. “I don’t think I’d be very good at hiding any bodies, unfortunately.”
“You’re too polite. It must be a Canadian thing. I’ll have to look into it. Are Canadians good at hiding bodies?” Darlene shrugged. “I’m game to test it, but Lucy wants these assholes to be ruined completely. He asked Belial to help make certain that by the time you unleash the Geese of the Apocalypse on their worthless asses, nobody will doubt their sins.”
Leonard’s eyes widened. “Pardon, but did you just say the Geese of the Apocalypse?”
I went to Icy, rewarded my moose with a few strokes and a kiss on her nose, and dug out the black stone from the bags littering the ground near her. Holding it up, I said, “I will be a scourge upon the evils of Australia, doing the good people of this scorching land a huge favor. Their evils will be purged—and the geese will leave when they’ve done their wicked work.”
“You should ask her to marry you,” Darlene prompted. “It’s not every day a woman comes around with a willingness to unleash geese upon the evils of the world. You won’t have to worry about her should she wander off on her own for a few minutes. But you are a lycanthrope, so you’re going to worry. Lycanthropes just can’t help it.”
“Isn’t that a little hasty?” Leonard asked.
“Not in my world.” The succubus lifted her chin. “I’m doing what’s best for you, and she’s what’s best for you. A delicate little flower like yourself needs a strong woman who hunts, fishes, and unleashes the Geese of the Apocalypse upon the scourges of this world. Mark my words. You’ll end up doing what I want. I’m saving you time, effort, heartache, and general nagging.”
Leonard? A delicate little flower? I looked him over. His white t-shirt, which had been rolled up at the sleeves, had enough caked dust on it I expected he lived for his next shower. His jeans hadn’t fared any better, and even his shoes had gone through hell. I frowned. “Did you fall off a horse or something?”
“No, but the horse has ideas of his own, and when he has ideas of his own, I take untraditional baths in the ocean. He was hot, got tired of our shit, and decided to go for a swim. After we went swimming, we ended up traveling along a dustier stretch of road.”
I could help him get washed up, and I considered how best to inform him of my willingness to help. At a loss of how to be polite about it, I shot a glare at Darlene. “Camping isn’t private.”
“It’s really not. How about we play camp? We’ll do all of the fun evening activities of camping, head home for the night, and then come back in the morning? I assume you want to help him with his laundry.”
“His laundry is particularly filthy. It’s only polite to help him with it.”
“And with all that other washing he definitely needs.” The succubus nodded. “That’s settled, then. We will go camping, and when it’s bedtime, we’ll head home so she can handle all the laundry and washing, and then we’ll come back in the morning, all relaxed and clean. Perhaps not rested, but relaxed and cleaned.”
Leonard’s brows remained raised. “No matter what I say, it’s going to come out horribly wrong.”
