Page 19 of Plaidypus
“Gift. It’s something you receive when someone else likes you. After I showed off the pictures of you with your truck, the denizens of the internet banded together to replace your truck. As I’m the best and the worst brother you’ll ever have, I even went through your old messages with me to dig out the exact specifications on what you truly wanted on your truck. You got what you could afford, and we both know it. Your new truck has the bells and the whistles. It also has a moose grill even though we’ll be taking it to the United States. With a little help from the CDC, it will come with New York plates so you won’t have to go through the hassle of importing it.”
“You’re the only brother I’ll ever have. Menopause happened, much to our father’s eternal dismay. The last time I checked, he was trying to convince Mom to contract lycanthropy or beg some sex demon for help to have more children.”
My brother snickered. “That’s just because Dad loves Mom and wants to keep her around for eternity.”
“While accurate, we both know he wants more babies. We should consider ourselves to be blessed they don’t nag us about grandchildren.”
“That’s only because Mom threatened to geld him if he did,” my brother reminded me.
“And then we had to remind Mom that good people don’t threaten to geld their husbands.” I rolled my eyes at the absurdity of our family life. “Mom even apologized for threatening to geld him, and she switched the threat to no sex for a year for every instance he nagged us, thus ensuring we have not heard a peep regarding our father’s desire for entire herds of grandchildren.”
“Let’s just say Mom squealed when the words ‘wolf lycanthrope’ came out of my mouth.”
“I am not producing a pack of puppies at this point in time. Please make certain our parents are aware of this.”
Matthieu grinned. “You need to catch a male of the appropriate species first. They’re aware you need to catch a male first. I may have texted our mother with Leonard’s picture.”
My life was over. My mother would begin her quest to secure grandchildren for herself. She would introduce me to nice men she’d met who could use a wonderful person like me to be their wife. My animals, the furry traitors they were, would go along with my mother’s efforts, as they were interested in all the wonderful things a husband could offer me.
I’d gotten the sense the animals were aware I would be the primary participant in any future mating rituals, although they expected a say in the future father of our children.
Magic worked in mysterious ways.
“Go on. Ask me what our mother said.”
As I wanted to get out of the tub eventually, I surrendered. “Okay. What did she say?”
“She asked Dad if she could give permission for you to bang Leonard.”
Could heaven even help me? “What did I do to deserve this? He’s still in the house. Dad said no, right?”
“Dad looked at his picture and reminded Mom you’d bang him if you wanted to, as he chose his apparel well.”
I sucked in a breath, remembering one critical truth: my brother had summoned the CDC, and thus held responsibility for Leonard’s presence in our home. “You didn’t tell the CDC my dark plaid secret, did you?”
“I can’t take credit for his choice of attire. I’m guiltless there. Iamguilty of them coming. I hadn’t expected you to try to drive them off, though. I should have. I figured if they were strangers, and one of the strangers was a vampire who wasn’t trying to bite our heads off, you’d invite them in for a chat.”
“You should go make me some hot chocolate to make up for this while I get out of the tub and get into my pajamas. At least offer Leonard some pajamas if you think he’ll fit in them or something, if he’s going to sleep here. We have a guest bedroom we keep clean. We may as well use it.”
“I’m sure the vampires will be back for him eventually.”
“With an incubus and a succubus? If they come back eventually, it’ll be so early in the morning, I’ll be tempted to shoot them.”
“Maybe I should text Nancy with a warning you do not get out of bed until eight.”
“If she brings over a fix of Timmy’s, I’ll forgive her if she comes early, but let her know the one in town doesn’t open until six.”
“Frankly, I’m amazed it opens before dawn,” he muttered.
“Do not question the generosity of the coffee gods. Go forth and make me cocoa.”
“All right, all right. But Dad asked his boss to look Leonard up on the public records, and he got the okay. He has a clean record, he’s immaculate on the lycanthropy front, and he’s flagged as potentially developing the hybrid form after mating. He’s borderline, likely due to exposure to a lot of hybrids due to his work.”
I raised a brow. “Isn’t that an abuse of power?”
“Not when it’s public records. Chief Quinn knows how to find the good public records.”
“Aren’t there two of them?”
