Page 16 of Plaidypus
“That’s quite unusual.”
“I mean, a moose went through my windshield, and he got back up and killed the moose before taking a hefty drink out of me. It’s more unusual either one of us are still alive to tell the tale, especially in this town.”
“While your survival is impressive, having met the moose in question, young vampires are typically far more dangerous than your brother.”
I shrugged. “He didn’t change at all. He just needs to drink blood now.”
“I don’t think you understand how unusual that is, Miss Lavigne.”
“Nadine, please. Miss Lavigne makes it sound like I’m a toddler. Let me pretend I’m an adult for a change.”
“I was unaware that particularly title had such a connotation.”
“Well, it’s better than being called a madam, I suppose. I’d have to give you directions to the nearest brothel and introduce you to the actual madam.”
He snickered and shook his head. “The nearest brothel is five hundred klicks from here.”
I joined him in snickering. “Did your vampires drag you to it?”
“Repeatedly. I ended up shifting and growling at everyone from a booth in the bar until they finished. The madam in charge of the establishment sent a gift of steak laced with pixie dust. Probably a wise move considering how much growling I’d been doing. Early-stage lycanthropes are semi-frequent partakers of brothels; older sex demons are at no real risk of bonding, and it keeps the lycanthropes more relaxed. The CDC keeps an updated list of lycanthrope-friendly brothels.”
My mouth dropped open. “There are brothels the CDC recommends for lycanthropes?”
“Lycanthropes can become very rough and rowdy during intercourse, and lycanthropes need to learn how to handle a non-infected partner. The sex demons play at being human to teach lycanthropes how to be gentle and considerate. Not all lycanthropes take advantage of it, but it’s something the CDC will recommend if the lycanthrope wants to court a human, especially if the human is a smaller woman. And sometimes, the lycanthrope can be tutored without sex actually being involved.”
The last thing I needed was a sexy man in plaid discussing sex demons and brothels with me in my home while my brother was in the basement. My beasts wanted to evict my brother and learn more about the mating practices of rowdy lycanthropes.
Well, at least I could ask a few questions, as he’d opened the door for discussion. “Is it normal for the animal to offer hints and suggestions regarding eligible men?”
“Absolutely. Shapeshifters have different levels of feedback from their animal side; some are more like lycanthropes, sharing their body. Others are so attuned to their animal there is never a sense of another being. The scanner is confirming you have a very active virus, so I’m assuming you’re learning to cope with sharing your head with an animal?”
“I’ve always been aware of my platypus,” I admitted. “She’s always been around, but she became more active when I turned eleven.”
“While I’m not a shapeshifter, that is in line with shapeshifters who mature naturally into their abilities. Many shapeshifters don’t learn they’re shapeshifters until they’re in a life-threatening situation. Are you aware of any such situations?”
I shook my head. “Not that I’m aware of. I just woke up one day, and as the day progressed, I realized I wasn’t alone in my head anymore. I told my father I needed to go to the doctor because I was going crazy. He told me I was a chip off his block, and he hoped I would follow in his hoofprints. I didn’t, obviously.”
“When did you identify you were a platypus?”
“Fourteen. My asshole brother tossed me into a lake, and I snorted water. Next thing I knew, I was out a change of clothes. I stayed in the lake for three days before my father finally scruffed me and dragged me home. Apparently, platypuses do not screw around with angry Shetland pony fathers.”
Leonard laughed. “As far as first-time shifting stories go, that one is pretty amusing. Was he human or a pony when he scruffed you?”
“He was a pony. He dragged me over to my mother, who held me until he shifted and got dressed, after which he spent an hour scolding me for not going home with my brother and deciding to overindulge my animal. He grounded me and my platypus for a month. He tended to dole out punishments based on who committed the crime. I’m generally innocent. My platypus? She likes creating trouble for the fun of it. And without fail, he always figured out which one of us had instigated.” She also liked avoiding certain types of trouble, but if given her way, we’d get into trouble with Leonard. My wolf supported my platypus, and I sighed at their insistence Leonard should be pursued. “They’re vocal. Well, not vocal. It’s feelings rather than words, but it’s pretty clear what they want.”
With a smug grin, Leonard took a few sniffs. My face warmed at the realization he likely could smell out my mood, which bordered on randy. “Lycanthropes are wired to mate, secure food, and have offspring. Lycanthropes and shapeshifters share some similarities on that front. It’s completely normal. I take it platypuses aren’t scent sensitive?”
“I have a more sensitive nose than my parents and my brother,” I confessed. Under no circumstances would I inform him my animals appreciated the aroma of single male wolf. “My sense of smell is changing, though.”
“Your senses will probably adjust and settle to be a blend of both animals. We have been speculating what would happen if a shapeshifter contracted lycanthropy, but you’re the first confirmed case.”
“Your machine can actually confirm I’m both a shapeshifter and a lycanthrope?”
“Yes, it can. It’s been in development for a while, but we’ve resolved the issues that made it register shapeshifters as lycanthropes without the lycanthropy virus. You won’t have any problems with your paperwork, that much I can promise. My nose is also sensitive enough to register all three of your scents.”
“I have three scents?” I sniffed my arm, narrowing my eyes while I considered my scent markers. I’d never put much thought into it, but once searching for it, I could identify three distinct scents, one I identified as female wolf, the other as platypus, not that I could quite put my finger on what a platypus smelled like, and human.
The human part needed a shower. Damn.
