Page 53 of Prayer of the Damned
“We were lovers. But every love story has a tragic ending. Our end was as tragic as Lilith’s soul and destiny.”
“Is she dead? I mean, she returned to her creator?”
He fills the empty goblet and brings it to his lips. “She has no creator. As I said, she obeys no one.”
“So why didn’t she destroy the world? Why is she back?”
He doesn’t answer, just stares at me deeply. Finally he says: “That’s between me and her.”
“Okay…” I draw out the word. “And why do you think I’m her?”
“Lilith always makes a dramatic entrance into the lands of Adam. The day Othello Fermi brought you to me, I suspected you could be Lilith’s incarnation. The human demoness so desperate to return to her original form, though it dooms her anew every time. The demon who is no demon, the angel who is no angel. I must admit, your healing abilities surprised me most of all. Lilith’s blood could create miracles or destroy entire cultures. If she wished it, of course.” He spills more and more information, and my head’s spinning trying to process it all.
“But I’m none of those things.” I stand up. “This makes no sense. What do you mean? She’ll wake up and you’ll pick upwhere you left off? Let me tell you something, I don’t even like you, so you’d better get that idea out of your filthy mind!” I strike the table and my goblet falls. Its contents spill out, dripping on his hideously expensive carpet. I don’t care, not even a little.
He frowns, apparently displeased with my reaction. “We’ll see about that. You might not see it, but everything about you reminds me of her. Let me love you again, let me remind you how good we were together.” He reaches a hand out to me, and I knock it away with a slap. He growls in response.
“Don’t you fucking touch me,” I hiss.
He drinks the entire contents of his goblet in one gulp and crushes it in his hand. “We’re done here,” he decrees, getting to his feet and leaving the room while I remain stunned by everything that’s happened here.
He didn’t tell me what I wanted to know, not even half of it. If anything, I’ve got a strong gut feeling that he twisted the information to his benefit. Libretto wants something from me. Something he can’t get until Lilith awakens.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Bellcolor
Ispent the whole summer at the Council’s castle. Despite Libretto’s attempts to awaken his Lilith, it wasn’t happening yet. He took me to places all over the world where they’d spent time together, he pushed me towards books Lilith liked reading, he went out of his way to bring her out of me. That perverted old geezer even tried sleeping with me. He left that fight bleeding, and finally had to admit defeat.
I had to fight to remind him that I’m not Lilith, I’m Belle Fermi. Fortunately for me, he absolutely loathed Belle Fermi. And indeed he finally tired of me. He agreed to my pleas to return to school. The only place where I’d managed to make a breakthrough, thanks to the only man who tried to tell me the truth. A man whose true identity I now know.
I hadn’t said a word to Libretto about it, or any of the Council members – not even my father, who’d become a member. I refused to speak with him, with any of them. I put up a wall around me until Libretto finally had to give in to my demands.
If I’m really who they I am, they understood it wouldn’t be wise to provoke me any more than they already have. It wouldn’t go well for them if I returned to haunt them with my full and true power. I snuck into the archive of forbidden books a few times, trying to glean as much information as I could, but the archive is huge and it was like looking for a needle in a haystack: Impossible.
I did find a lot of information about the church and God’s holy army. All the feelings he stirred in me when I was around him left me with no doubt – Dr. Bartimaeus Abano is a guardian angel. He’d incarnated into this world for a mission, and wouldn’t stop until he fulfilled it. I still couldn’t understand what made him different from the guardian angels I’d seen in the archive’s books. But I knew with all my heart that his mission was to banish me. And after everything I’d gone through, I suddenly understood the source of the impulse to take my own life. I’d wanted to die and failed, and now my body was impervious to everything, and I had to turn to the only person who could do it for me.
I have no desire to bring Lilith into this world, and I certainly don’t want to be Libretto’s consort. He makes me really anxious, and I know he’s hiding the truth from me. I know that what he wants from me contains within it a fate worse than death.
And now I find myself face to face with the man I wanted to take my life. I approach him and shut his mouth with my hand.
“Careful, you’ll get stuck that way.” Laughter rolls out of my lips and his eyes fixate on them with open desire. “So how did you do it?” I ask, bringing my face to his so I can breathe in his scent. He smells like a fucking demon in every way.
“Do what?”
“Dive directly into Hell without drowning.”
“Don’t play tricks on me. If you’re going to turn me in, do it quickly. I might disappear if you keep dawdling.” He’s provokingme, challenging me. I have to admit that I like it. I need a fearless warrior.
“Will you take my request seriously? Or do I have to play dumb and let you continue your plan uninterrupted? Do you like ‘em dumb, Barty?” I cluck my tongue, it’s really amusing. If my time in this world is limited, there’s no reason I shouldn’t have some fun.
A range of emotions flickers through his eyes, and for an instant I see the blue of his left eye. It’s so gentle… but it regains its green color quickly as he comes to his senses. Barty Abano picked green eyes for himself, interesting. I wonder what he’s hiding. His nostrils flare with rage and he grabs me by the neck, tightly, pressing me to the wall of his office. My throat yearns for air. It’s just for show, of course. I know, because I tried drowning myself and strangling myself every way I could. It’s pointless. But the pain? The pain is quite real.
“Bar…” I caress his arm, trying to free myself of his iron grip. Damn, he’s strong.
“I think I prefer Bar to Barty.” He smiles, and finally lets me go. I drop to the ground, clutching my throat and coughing wildly. Involuntary tears fall from my eyes as I realize I’ve been forever condemned to feel intense pain. I don’t look at Dr. Abano, but I hear his gasps for breath. I finally look up at him and he drops to his knees before me, running a hand over my cheek and wiping my tears away. He notes the moisture between his fingers, looking at my tears in disbelief. “How…?” Is he asking himself or me? He must know I don’t have the answers for him. I turned to him because I believe he has those answers himself.
I decide to ignore his pointless question. “So you’ll help me?”
