Page 34 of Beating Heart
I don’t know. I’d keep your expectations low.
My phone rang immediately, and I groaned when I saw her name light up the screen.
“Yeah?” I grumped.
“What does that mean? We had an agreement that I could see him when I came through town,” she said, using that whiny tone she always used when she wanted to get her way.
I pushed to my feet when Cutler glanced over at me and walked out to the back deck and pulled the door closed behind me. “And you can. I’m just saying, he’s not three years old anymore. He has questions. He doesn’t know you, and if you’re coming just to stay for an hour, I wouldn’t bother. It just confuses him.”
“You could fix this, Nash. You could tell him that I love him but that I wanted a different life.”
“It’s not my job to make you look good. I tell him that you love him because I want him to feel good. Not because I give a flying fuck how it makes you look.”
“What is with this attitude? I thought we had an agreement?”
“We do. I’m holding up my end. I’m raising my son. But I’m letting you know that things have shifted so that you won’t show up here and expect something different. He doesn’t call you mom anymore; he refers to you as Tara. He did that on his own. Kids at school talk. He sees his friends with their parents, and he knows that you aren’t around. So you can’t just expect him to be excited to see you.”
She sighed. “He’ll be fine when he sees me. Last time I saw him, he cuddled up on my lap. He knows instinctually that I’m his mama. It’s a bond that we’ll share no matter where we are.”
“Tara, he was four years old the last time you saw him. It’s been over two years. He’s growing up. You can’t just show up every couple of years and expect a relationship.”
“I can show up whenever the hell I want to. He’s my son, too,” she snipped.
I ran a hand over my face, trying my best to keep calm. I didn’t want to rock the boat. I got to have Cutler 100 percent of the time. If she wanted to roll into town for a few hours every couple of years, I could suck it up. This arrangement was a good one for me and Cutler. I didn’t have to share him or have some strange dude playing stepfather to him.
“It’s fine. I just wanted you to be prepared that he might be a little standoffish.”
“I can win him over quickly. It’s my superpower, right?” She chuckled, completely content now that she’d gotten her way. “Can I talk to him?”
“He’s home sick from camp today. He’s got the stomach flu.”
“Well, then I’ll cheer him up. I just want to say hello.”
I walked back inside and paused the movie. “Hey, buddy. Your mama is on the phone, and she’d like to say hi.”
His dark gaze locked with mine. “Tara?”
“Yep. Can she say hello?”
He shrugged, and I put her on speakerphone. I needed to hear what she was saying, so I could end the call if she upset him.
“Okay, he’s here,” I said.
“Hi, Cutler. It’s Mama. How are you?”
“Fine. I threw up last night.”
“Oh, gosh. I threw up a few nights ago, and it was the worst,” she said with a laugh.
“You had the stomach buggers?”
“I had the tequila buggers.” She chuckled, and I rolled my eyes. “I was telling your daddy that I’m going to try to get to Magnolia Falls at the end of summer, if I can.”
“Why?” Cutler asked.
“Because I want to see my son, of course. I’m so proud of you. And I can’t believe you’re six years old already.”
Cutler looked up at me. It was this weird, knowing look that he gave me. Like he understood who she was in a way. This kid was an old soul. He’d always been good at reading people. He loved the people in his life fiercely, but he’d also learned that he needed to protect himself when it came to Tara.
