Page 35 of Beating Heart
“You can call me Beefcake. I don’t like the name Cutler anymore.”
“What? Cutler is the coolest name. I’m not calling you Beefcake.”
His eyes widened. “I’m tired, Tara. I need to go rest.”
“Wait. I don’t want to argue. I’ll call you Beefcake if you agree to call me Mama again. Deal?”
My chest squeezed when I saw the confusion on his face. Cutler wasn’t playing a role. He was just an honest kid who had a big heart.
“He needs to go lie down, Tara,” I said, taking her off of speakerphone.
“Okay. Tell little Beefcake I hope he feels better soon,” she said with a laugh. “I’ll let you know if I can make it there at the end of summer.”
“I need to go. Keep me posted on when you’re coming.”
“I will. Hey, Nash,” she said.
“Yep.”
“Thanks for being a good dad to our son.”
Hell, everything I did was for Cutler.
It was my honor to be his father.
“You got it. Bye.”
I ended the call and propped a pillow on my lap, and he leaned down and rested his head there.
“You okay?”
“I hope Tara doesn’t stay too long. I’ve got lots of plans at the end of summer with J.T. and my uncles and all my girls.” He stared ahead at the TV, even though the sound was still muted.
I stroked his face, happy that his fever was gone. “Don’t worry at all. We’ve got plenty of time for everything, okay?”
“Pops?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m glad you’re my dad.”
Fuck me. My chest squeezed so tight it was hard to breathe.
“Thanks, buddy.” I cleared my throat. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, buddy. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“Just like it was for you and Gramps when you were growing up, right?” he asked, his voice quiet.
“Yep. It was me and Gramps.”
“Were you sad that you never met your mama?” he asked. We’d talked about it a few times over the last year. He’d suddenly become more curious about my mom’s passing.
“Yeah, I was sad I never got to know her.” She’d passed away during childbirth due to a complication. My father had gone to the hospital with his wife, whom he loved, and left with a newborn son all on his own.
“Gramps says that she made sure you were okay before she decided to leave with the angels because he says she was an angel, too.”
I hadn’t realized Cutler had talked to my father about it. “Is that what he said?”
