Page 85 of The Great Dating Fake Off
And then he rises to full, intimidating height, shoulders drawn back. “It’s not true. Nora isn’t cheating on me. In fact, we’re engaged.”
An uproar of voices drown each other out.
“Engaged?” Veronica yells, as Giuseppe yells something about nonsense, as Santino says settle down—
I choke on a breath. “What? No! That’s not—Benji, can we please talk outside?”
“We are!” He waves his arm with gusto. “So whatever you think you know, forget about it. Let’s eat brunch and rehearse this damn wedding, shall we?”
“I saw her, Benjamino,” Veronica blusters, huffing and puffing like she’s about to blow this house down. “I saw her with him. Coming out of that man’s room this morning, kissing in the doorway.”
Benji finally spares a look at Sebastian. I can pinpoint the exact moment he connects the dots and realizes it’s true by the side-eye he gives me.
Sebastian runs a hand down his face as Alessia massages her temples, mumbling under her breath.
Gia whispers something in Ro’s ear, and Ro leans over to say something to Enzo, and it’s official: this is the world’s most fucked-up game of telephone.
Benji seems to realize all at once how many people are staring at him. “This is ridiculous. Everyone, mind your own business. Mom, there are things I need to tell you, and I sure as hell don’t want to do it here and now. Do not worry about me or my relationship to Nora.”
To Nora. Not with Nora. I breathe a little easier. He’s going to tell her the truth in private, as is his right.I wouldn’t want to yell “I’m faking it!” in front of a room full of my extended relatives, either.
“That’s not a relationship, Benjamino! If you won’t stand up for yourself, I’ll do it for you. That—that woman disrespected you. Disrespected our family, sneaking around with one of theirs. And is no one from the Mazzelli side at all perturbed, or are affairs just standard fare for you?”
Alessia shoves up from the table. “None of us are married. Why don’t you mind your business and leave my family out of this?”
Veronica blinks in shock. “I would say your family is very much in this, young lady. And how are you so okay with your boyfriend sleeping around?”
“Because he’s not my boyfriend!” Alessia all but growls. “Fuck, this was so not worth it. Sebastian isn’t my date, he’s my friend.”
Benji clears his throat. “While we’re on the topic, might as well—”
“Alessia.” Nonna Gloria lifts her hand as if to silence the classroom. “Don’t feel pressured to give into the Ferraro flair for the dramatics. You don’t owe anyone anything, especially in public.”
“No, I do,” Alessia cries. “I owe this to myself. And while we’re at it—I owe it to that woman serving food over there. Oye, Eloise, turn around!”
Across the room, Eloise pivots on her toes, a serving tray in her hands, looking utterly terrified.
“You see her? The cute one with the bangs? That’s the love of my life. I’m going to marry her. She doesn’t know it yet because I was going to ask her on the fourth of July, but yeah. Sebastian was here as my date because I didn’t want to upstage Enzo’s big day by bringing a person I wasn’t sure some of you people would approve of. But I don’t give a fuck anymore, because what I’m not going to do is spend another second keeping a secret for the convenience of everyone else. Nor will I listen to you harass my best friend, who did nothing wrong by me. And a bit of advice? Leave your grown ass children alone to make their own choices.”
Gloria shakes her head as if incredulous. “Darling, you did not need to go to all that trouble to hide your girlfriend. Why would you do such a thing?”
Alessia’s rage subsides a little when she looks at her nonna. “Because none of you know I’m gay, except Enzo, and this room is more Catholic than Vatican City. I wasn’t about to tell all of you this week.”
“I knew.” Gloria says with a wave. “You’ve had girlfriends for the last decade. The whole town reports on you to me when they come into my office. You think someone who loves you as much as I would even bat an eye? I just wanted you to tell me when you wanted to tell me, if at all. It never needed to be a ceremony.”
Alessia looks left and right, gobsmacked. “But…you always talk about how much you hoped I’d marry someone like Nonno Joseph.”
“Someone who loves you as much as Joseph loved me. That’s all I’ve wanted for my family. We all deserve that kind of love.” She also rises to her feet, her eyes scanning the next table over. “And by golly, I think I’ve found it again. Santi, it’s time to come clean.”
Alessia’s jaw falls open, closes, and then opens again. “Sorry, I think I missed a step. What was that last part?”
Santino lets out a low chuckle and leans back in his chair, as if utterly amused by this whole thing. “We doing this for real, Gloria?”
“We have to.” Gloria points at me. “Nora now knows about us. It’s only a matter of time before the truth gets out.”
Oh, fuck my entire earthside life. Why are they bringing me into this? “I know nothing!”
Gloria nods fervently.“It’s okay, Nora. There’s no need to cover for us.”
