Page 46 of The Great Dating Fake Off
“Thank you. And what is this?” Benji asks as his dish is delivered, somehow making the inquiry sound polite.
“Capelonghe veneziane,” Ro says. “Razor clams. One of Mom’s favorite appetizers, so this is to appease her. But the main course is one of my favorites!”
Benji grits his teeth. “It’s salmon, isn’t it.”
“You know me well.”
Clams. Salmon. Unfortunately, the mere idea of both makes me queasy. But I would never in a million years say that, so I take to poking my appetizer with my fork until it’s time to poke my main dish with my fork.
The table is chatty, especially after the clams are cleared. The conversation is rapid fire from there, and I’m left wondering which inevitably will play out first between Gia killing Sergio or Ro killing Sergio.
Alessia stands shortly after the main course is delivered and takes her fanny pack with her, whispers something in Sebastian’s ear, and scoots out of the building.
“She’s got a sensitive stomach,” Sebastian explains.
I’m glad I’m not the only one.
Twenty minutes after the salmon touches down, Mamma V materializes behind Ro and Enzo’s seats. Nineties attire looks very natural on her, because nothing I’ve ever seen her wear has been from this decade. She has a precarious grasp on her wineglass. “Hello puppets. Having fun?”
Ro looks up and backward. “Yes, Ma. We’re all good over here.”
“Okay. I just wanted to be sure. I know how disappointed you must be that the Mazzellis ignored your theme.”
“It’s fine.” Ro’s face flushes red as she takes a long drag of her wine. “Just wanted everyone to look the same and not be so divided, but it is what it is. I can’t control what people do.”
Mamma V bids Enzo a scathing look as he forks salmon into his mouth, seemingly oblivious. “Nor should you have to. You say the word and I’ll talk to each and every last one of them—”
“No thank you.” Ro pushes up from her chair. “It’s about time to start the fire outside, I’m going to go make sure the s’mores station is set up. Excuse me.”
Mamma V watches her daughter disappear before dropping her gaze to Enzo. Her tone is conspiratorial. “Since I have you alone with your friends, what time can we expect ‘La Serenata?’ I know we’re breaking tradition, since Rosalina isn’t sleeping at our home tonight, but close enough!”
Enzo’s face goes blank. “What is that?”
An entire Shakespearean tragedy plays out on Mamma V’s face. “You…don’t already know? You don’t have a plan for serenading her in front of my family as generations of prospective grooms have done before you?”
“Oh, the singing thing.” He tugs nervously on his neon shirt, panic streaking across his face like a comet.“Respectfully, we won’t be doing that, Mrs. Ferraro.”
Several people have taken out their phones, including Sebastian. I’m almost certain everyone is searching for the phrase “La Serenata.”
“Oh.” Mamma V fans herself. “But you know how important tradition is to Rosalina. Doesn’t that mean something to you?”
Enzo’s thick brows furrow like he’s not sure that’s true of his future wife.“She’s never mentioned it to me, and it’s not really our style. I think I have a good pulse on what Rosalina likes.”
Mamma V opens and closes her mouth twice before forcing her lips to turn up. “I see. Well, I’ll just tell all my family that the tradition dies with you two. I’m sure they’ll understand.”
Eagle-Eye Cherry’s “Save Tonight” wails through the hall as Enzo blinks up at the immovable chess piece that is Mamma V’s body. “Great.” He pauses as she glares at him expectantly. “Um. Thank you?”
“My pleasure.”
Gia clears her throat. “You sure you don’t even want to try, Enzo? I can help you.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it, Gia. You just take care of my girl this week.” Enzo stands up. “I need some air. I’m going to take a walk outside.”
A fork clatters against ceramic as Sergio makes haste to follow him.
The table shudders as Gia pushes back. “I’m going to check on the bride.”
Mamma V can clear a table, that’s for sure. It’s just Benji, Sebastian, and I left.
