Page 43 of My Heart Still Beats
“We will. And I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you have an amazing time.”
I reach toward her then, grab her hand. “No. You don’t worry about me at all. This weekend is foryou, Skye. For you and Braden.Youhave a wonderful time. Please. Don’t worry about me.”
She squeezes my hand. “I’ll always worry about you, Tess. You’re part of me. You know that.”
Her words move me. “That takes me back.”
“I know. Spring of senior year, when I was trying to decide whether to go back to Kansas or to stay in Boston. You sat me down, looked me straight in the eye, and told me you wanted me to stay but you’d be okay with whatever I decided.”
I smile, and this time, it’s not forced. “Except I was really trying to get you to stay.”
“I know.” She chuckles. “You said, ‘Wherever you end up, you’ll always be a part of me.’ I never forgot those words, Tess. Even when you thought I had.”
Skye is referring to a rough patch we had recently, but I don’t want to go there, so I draw in a breath. “Just promise me you’ll have a great time. That’s all I ask.”
“I will. We both will.” She beams. “Dinner will be served in a minute. If you need anything, you let me know.”
“Of course.”
But I won’t. She doesn’t need to be worrying about me. I should be the least of her concerns.
Skye rises then and returns to her seat next to Braden.
The two of them put their heads together and talk, presumably about me.
And damn it.
I donotwant to be the subject of Skye’s unhappiness. I don’t want her focusing on me. I want her beaming like she did a moment ago.
Ben himself brings my dinner to me and then sits down beside me as Marissa, one of the flight attendants, serves him as well.
“I hope you don’t mind a dinner companion,” he says.
“No, I don’t, because I need to talk to you.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Of course, what is it?”
“I need you to make sure that Braden and Skye aren’t worried about me. This long weekend has to be about them.”
He nods. “I couldn’t agree more, Tessa.”
“So what do we do? How do we get them to quit focusing on me?”
He shrugs. “You need to have a good time. If they see you enjoying yourself, they won’t worry.”
I roll my eyes. “I know you won’t believe me, but I’m trying.”
“I do believe you,” he says. “And you’re right. Idon’tknow how you’re feeling. But like I said before, I’ve wrestled with my own demons, Tessa. It’s not always easy. But there’s one thing that keeps me going.”
Right. His demons. Those demons he mentioned the other day. The demons I questioned him about, that he said he might tell me about someday. “What’s that?” I ask, genuinely curious now. “What keeps you going?”
He takes my hand, and for once I don’t think about pulling away. He places it on his chest. “It’s knowing that my heart still beats.”
My lips part. I want to say something, but I have no idea what.
“Life, Tessa. Life is a gift.”
“I’m not going to disagree with you, but your life is pretty easy, Ben. You have everything in the world. Literally.”
