Page 69 of The Absence of You
“Are you going to get a DNA test?”
“I don’t know. It’s ironic, isn’t it? All that time not knowing the truth about my father and now, I could get a simple blood test which would finally give me the answers, and I’m not sure I can bring myself to do it. If it turns out I’m the result of …rape…I would never be able to unknow that. I would have to live with that knowledge for the rest of my life.” Callie hooks her pinkie finger around mine, and I draw comfort from her silent support. “It’s no wonder they hid this from me Cal. Dee might be my stepmother. My mum’s childhood sweetheart might actually be my brother. How messed up is that?”
“Have you spoken to your mum yet?”
I shake my head. “Not yet. I’m going to phone her this evening when I get back to Dee’s. I wish I could see her in person. I feel bad about how we left things when I saw her last.”
“I’m sure she understands, Dahlia.” Callie rolls onto her side to look at me, and I feel her stare on my cheek. “Have you seen Grayson?”
“Yeah, he was here earlier. He wanted to stay and explain some things, but I told him to leave.”
“Oh. You didn’t want to hear him out?”
“I’m not sure there’s much point.”
“Did you know it was him that pulled you out of the pool? I wanted to come to the hospital with you, but he refused to leave your side, and they’d only let one of us ride with you in the ambulance. You should have seen him, Dahlia. He knew exactly what to do. He was amazing.” I swing my gaze to meet hers and arch my brow. Seriously? She’s Team Grayson all of a sudden?
“I wouldn’t have been getting drunk at that party in the first place if he hadn’t lied to me, Callie.” I snap. Callie stays silent and chews on her bottom lip, and I immediately feel bad for biting her head off. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that. It’s not his fault I got stupid drunk. That was all me. And I’m grateful he pulled me out. Of course I am. But it doesn’t mean anything other than he was being a good citizen. You saw him after the spiking at the club. It's the same thing. He was just doing what anyone would do. Nothing’s changed and I’m not sure there’s anything left for us to talk about.”
“You didn’t see him at the party. He was frantic when he couldn’t find you. And when he realised you were okay, I swear he was crying Dahlia. Asher was hugging him so I couldn’t see his face, but I’m telling you, he was fucking shaking. He was as upset as I was.” She softens her voice. “I’m not claiming to be his biggest fan, but the way he was last night, I’ve never seen him like that, not in all the years I’ve known him. Look, I know it isn’t the same thing, but you’ve spent years wondering about your dad, do you want to look back in a year or two and wonder what it was that Grayson wanted to talk to you about? Haven’t you spent enough time in the dark?”
Saving anyone from drowning must be a scary experience, so I’m not convinced Grayson’s show of emotion was about me at all, but maybe he deserves the same chance I gave my mum and Dee to explain why he didn’t tell me about my dad. I don’t believe anything he has to say will change the state of our friendship, but Callie’s right, the not knowing might be worse than the truth in the end.
“Calliope Messina. You should be a lawyer, you know that? Always with the reasonable arguments.” I nudge my shoulder into hers. “Who would have thought Grayson Banks would have you fighting his corner for him?”
“Yeah well, if he hurts you again, I’ll make him pay.”
“I don’t doubt it.”
She shoots me an apologetic grin.
“But you know it’s not really his corner I’m fighting?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I want you to be happy, and I know if you don’t find some sort of closure with him, you’ll never be able to move on.”
I study my friend more closely.
“Why do I feel like you’re talking from experience?” Callie tenses beside me, but she doesn’t deny it so I continue. “One of these days I hope you’ll feel ready to talk to me about your ex, and whenever that is, I’ll be here.” She relaxes and rests her head on my shoulder, and I hope that day comes sooner rather than later, because I can’t help but feel Callie has never had anyone be there for her the way she’s been there for me this last couple of months.
We lie back on the narrow hospital bed for a while in a comfortable silence until one of the nurses knocks on the door and tells me I’m being discharged. My CT scan is clear thankfully, and I know I’m lucky to have escaped with just the bump on my head. Despite what I said to Callie earlier, I do owe Grayson. I type out a message to him and tell him he can come to Dee’s tomorrow so we can talk.
There’s a soft knock on my bedroom door. I pull the door open and find Grayson standing on the other side. He’s dressed in grey joggers and a royal blue hoodie that shows off his athletic build perfectly. It’s my favourite colour on him, making his eyes look even bluer than normal. I swear he looks hotter every time I see him, and it’s torture.
“Hey. Thanks for agreeing to see me.” Grayson’s tone is subdued. I smile tentatively, still questioning my decision to invite him over, and take a seat on the edge of my bed. He looks between the bed and my desk chair, before eventually settling on the chair. He pulls it over so he’s sitting opposite me, our knees just a few inches apart. His hair is tousled, like he’s been running his hands through it over and over, and I resist the urge to push the stray strands out of his eyes.
“How are you feeling?” His eyes run over me, stopping briefly at my bruised temple.
“I’m okay. I had a couple of hours of sleep this afternoon when I got back which helped.”
“Good. That’s good.” Grayson rubs his hands on his thighs, and I recognise the gesture as a telltale sign he’s nervous.
“I want-”
“I’m-”
We both start to talk at the same time and then stop awkwardly. Grayson nods at me. “You first.”
