Page 31 of Goldie's Grumpy Grizzly
Use your heart, not your head. All this time, you’ve been so afraid to find a mate because you might lose her. But if you don’t work this out, you will definitely lose her.
I lower my head sullenly, eyes straying towards my cabin.
Then Connor turns around to climb down the mountain and shakes his head as he goes. I’ve always looked up to you and Clay all my life. I never once thought of you as a coward. Until now.
Chapter Thirteen
Rae
Without Cole, the cabin feels bigger and soulless. I can’t even feel him along the mating bond. Not as strongly as I’d felt him before, so I know he must be closing himself off from me.
No wonder, considering how my birth was tied to his father’s gruesome death.
I screw my eyes shut, trying to block out the heartache I felt for that poor cub. Scared. Alone. Witness to something no child should ever have to see.
The distance between us stings. After spending the last couple of days feeling connected by a shimmering light, it feels weird to be apart.
I thought if I gave him time and space to sort through his emotions, he’d be back.
But it’s been over twenty-four hours, and he hasn’t.
And that hurts. More than I thought it would.
Luckily, emotions fuel me. They spur me on, acting as a catalyst to focus only on the things I can control. In this case, that’s the words on the page. So, I’ve channeled all the hurt and fear I’ve felt into my characters as I let my fingers fly.
As the words flowed out of me like a cleansing downpour, I didn’t stop to question how it was that I could so easily see the cabin fade from my view in a silvery, pale pink light. I didn’t give any thought as to why I was able to slip into the skin of my Bruno bear, scent his woods, view his world and his issues the way he did. I paid no mind to the glimmer of magic I felt pulsing through me as I filled page after page, working tirelessly and unaware of the time.
I barely ate. I barely slept. I only bore down and wrote, pushing away all thoughts of the bearded, grumpy bear shifter who’d taken a swipe at my heart and stolen it.
But today, I typed “The End” sooner than I thought I would. It’s the finale the fans have been clamoring for, with sacrifices made, revenge had, and the hero triumphant. Forever changed by his journey and ready to settle into his hard-won happy ending.
Janelle will be thrilled.
Hell, I’m thrilled.
If I can just get some cell reception to call her and let her know, then I can rest easy knowing that the bulk of my work is done.
But as I come out of the visions that have held me in thrall for the last few days, all those questions I’ve held at bay return in full force as I turn over the not-just-a-pendant in my hands.
Was Cole right? Was I a witch with a talent for unwittingly spellcasting? Did my wishes and words come together to create the results I wanted with power I didn’t even know I had?
Is this what the evil witch meant when she said I’d be “blessed by the Goddess”?
If so, did that mean I had unwittingly influenced everyone in my life and everything good that’s happened to me?
Have I actually earned the success I’ve enjoyed with my writing?
Are any of the relationships I’ve built real? The ones with my friends, my family? Or did I attract these people to me with my own pining and wishful thinking?
Worse, did I do the same to Cole?
The thought makes me feel sick. What if this is all a fabrication and he’s not really my mate? Could it be he only wanted me because I wanted him so badly I literally made my dreams into reality?
My head spins and I drop my forehead to my keyboard, blowing out a heavy breath.
Maybe Cole’s nipping our connection in the bud. Severing it so I can work out how to properly and responsibly deal with my gifts and so he can find his true mate.
My stomach twists, sinking like a stone.
