Page 86 of The Secret
“And if you try and stop me from going, then I’m walking out the door.”
So this is why Lauren told me that it’s all kicking off. She’ll be devastated if her marrying David forces my parents apart. And I’m not the secret weapon;Momis. Is shehisweak spot? Ha, fucking, ha.
I look at my dad. “I think you need to think carefully about what you’re doing. Carry on like this, and they won’t have you there. Are you really going to miss the opportunity to give your only remaining daughter away? Because you won’tbeat my wedding, let alone walking me down the aisle.”
I’ve never articulated this, and my mom looks at me, something working behind her eyes. Sometimes when you get the showdown you’ve been waiting for all your life, it’s something different than what you expected. Maybe it’s someone else’s showdown. And they had your back all along and you didn’t realize it.
I smile at her. “You can give me away,” I say with a wink. “Well, this has been enlightening, but I think it’s time I got back on the road.” I spin on my heel and head down the hallway, and I can hear my mom’s hurried footsteps behind me.
When I reach the door, I turn around and her eyes are sad. I pull her into a hug, kissing her cheek. “Lovely to see you, Mom.”
She pats my back. “I miss seeing you, hearing your news,” she says, and I lean back to look at her.
Have I neglected her because of falling out with him? Of course, of course I have.
“I’ll reach out more often, Mom. I’ve missed seeing you too.”
Her expression eases. “Good. Send me updates.”
“I met a man,” I blurt out. “A good one I think.” I don’t know why I’m telling her this—I haven’t talked to her about men in years.
“Really?” Her whole face lights up. “If he’s a good one, make sure you hang on to him. They’re few and far between.”
I roll my lips together. “He lied to me.”
She tilts her head. “What about?”
“Fathering a child. A little girl.”
Her eyebrows raise. “Oh dear, does he not have anything to do with her anymore?”
“No just the opposite actually. She lives with him, and he’s wonderful with her. But he told me she wasn’t his child, and then I found her birth certificate with his name on it. I don’t really understand why he’d lie to me.”
My mom hums. “Did you talk to him about it?”
I look down and scuff my foot on the mat by the front door. “No.”
She chuckles, and my eyes snap to see a broad smile on her face. She reaches out and ruffles my hair. “You were always such a passionate, spontaneous child. Always moving in such a hurry, never stopping to think for too long. And I loved that in you: By God, you can take too little action in life.” She glances over her shoulder down the hall before looking back at me. “But it got you into such trouble.”
I gawk at her. Was I really like that?
She leans forward and kisses my cheek. “Sounds like it’s worthy of a conversation at the very least.”
I nod. “I’ve probably messed it up already.”
“I’m sure you haven’t. You’ve always been good with people. If he likes you and you like him, all the rest is window dressing. You’ll get through the hiccups.”
Will we? The need to go back and talk to him seethes under my skin.
“I’m sorry about Dad,” I say.
She laughs. “He’ll come round—he’s just a stubborn old man.”
I stare back toward the kitchen, and I must make some face because she pats my arm.
“Leave it with me.”
A secret weapon for sure. I think I’ve misjudged her all my life, misjudged all the quiet negotiators who play their cards close to their chest but are loyal and unwavering.
