Page 54 of The Secret
“Hi, Letty, how are you doing? I’m on my way in.”
“Oh God, Liss. They liked the proposal we put in!” Her voice vibrates in my ear. “We’ve got some money.”
“Seriously?” Despite everything, a hot spike runs through me. I did most of this bid. Perhaps I’m better at this writing gig than I thought.
“Can you come into the office?” Letty says.
I blink at the mass of people. “Of course, I’ll see you soon,” I say and hang up.
When I get to the office, Letty is a grinning, arm-waving mess.
“I’m so pleased!” I say, as she pulls me into a warm hug.
“We’re going to have to travel to DC to meet them next week,” she bubbles. “I was wondering what day you might be able to do.”
Travel to DC? “Me?”
“Yes, of course! It’s your idea, your project.” She grins.
I stare at her, internally groaning. I’ve got a lot to do. I don’t need five-hour road trips south.
“They’re talking about funding it for eighteen months. We could establish a base out there, maybe a permanent one. They loved the proposal.Yourproposal.” Letty squeezes my arm, a broad smile on her face.
“They did?”
She laughs. “We’re an awesome team. You’re going to have to go out there.”
My heart plummets. “What?Me?No way, Letty. I don’t know the first thing about the Philippines or their problems or …”
I can’t leave here at the drop of a hat, that would be insane.
“I don’t think it matters, Liss. I mean someone has to set it up, and I’ve got kids in school and …” She pauses, biting her lip. “At least to start off with …” She tails off.
Oh, God! I’m an idiot. That’s why she wanted to see me. “But I have no experience of management, of doing something like that. I’m a volunteer, not a manager.”
She shrugs. “You had no experience of bidding either. You’ve got to learn sometime.”
I open my mouth to object, to say I’m good with people, but of course that’s what management’s about, isn’t it? Also, where am I going? I can’t stay a volunteer forever, much as I love it. Am I going to build brick walls and dig wells for the rest of my life? No. At some point, I’m going to need to find another way to help. I just hadn’t expected it to be so soon. And I don’t want to go to the Philippines. What if Dan …?
Letty is watching me, eyes pinched. I’ve stupidly created a big opportunity for me and her. Ugh. This is awful.
I screw my eyes up and stare at the winter trees behind her head, out the window, black arms stretched up into the cold blue sky.
“I’ll need to think about it, Letty, I can’t just up and leave everything. I’ll have to talk to the university.”
She reaches out and squeezes my arm. “Of course! I’m sure we could time the project to fit around you. If you even want to do it.”
I look at her then, really look at her. The lines surrounding her eyes, burning bright with commitment and drive. I think of palm-fringed beaches and disease and poverty. It’d be very different from Africa, that’s for sure. And Letty burns with what I burn with: We haven’t known each other for long, but I love her for it.
She tilts her head. “I’m so sorry, Liss! I just assumed because you volunteer a lot you had no family keeping you here, and that’s so presumptuous of me!”
And I open my mouth to object but shut it with a snap and close my eyes. She’s right. Thereisnothing really keeping me here. All the stuff with Dan …He’s gone, Liss.Kate called it. And of course, that’s the truth of this: It actually doesn’t matter what Fabian found out. Dan didn’t want me, or something happened to him. And neither option gives me the happy ending with him that I wanted so badly. Somehow, I need to find the strength to move the fuck on.
25
LISS
Thursday, January 2, 2020
