Page 49 of The Secret
“Three Hammered Hulks,” Kate replies.
Now Jo’s mouth falls open. “What on earth are those?”
“No idea. Someone at work recommended this bar and these cocktails, so that’s what we’re starting with.”
Jo rummages around in her purse and pulls out a piece of paper, smoothing it out on the glossy surface in front of me. Dense text surrounds a large picture with tall palm trees and a pristine beach. The headline reads: “POVERTY IN PARADISE.”
I narrow my eyes at her.
“It’s an article about volunteering in the Philippines, about the problems there and …”
Kate straightens in her seat. “We think you should volunteer, but go someplace else other than Africa.”
Jo slaps her arm. “Stop jumping the gun! I was going to work her up to it …”
I smile at their bickering. Thank God I’ve got two friends who care enough about me to put something like this in front of me, annoying though it might be.
“I love you both,” I say, and their wide eyes swing to me. I shake my head. “But Fabian’s working on some stuff for me and …”
Kate and Jo exchange glances. “Do you think he’s going to find something you don’t already know?” Kate says softly, and I scowl at her. Has she talked to Fabian about this?
“I’m just not ready to go volunteering again.”
Jo fiddles with a coaster on the bar. “Either something happened to him or he deliberately cut off all contact. Neither of those things is good.”
Whenever they talk about Dan now, it’s in the past tense.
I chew my lip. “I can’t just abandon him,” I say.
Kate rolls her eyes. “You’re not abandoning him. You’re moving on,” Kate mumbles into her glass, and something fires in my blood.
Moving on? What the fuck? “Like you moved on from Fabian when he messed up?”
She opens her mouth and shuts it again. “That was different,” she eventually says.
Why? Why was it different? She’s with him now: She forgave every one of Fabian’s disasters. “I’m not going anyplace else,” I say mutinously.
“But maybe it would help,” Jo says.
“It would be a positive change,” Kate agrees firmly.
“I’m doing okay.”
Kate frowns. “Look, Liss, you’re …” She focuses over my shoulder. “It’s not good.” She waves her hand toward Jo. “We’ve never seen you …”
“I mean sure you’ve been down about guys …” Jo chips in.
“… But we’ve never seen you down like this. Something needs to give, and you like radical change. Jo saw the article and thought it could be just what you needed.”
I shake my head again.
“I don’t want to …” I trail off. My mind is fuzzy like my thoughts are reeling away, just out of reach. “I need someplace familiar, where I’ve got friends.”
“I don’t think you do. Not you, Liss.” Jo squeezes my arm. “Manhattan is routine and safe. You can function on automatic pilot. But you need to give your brain something else to think about. Some challenge that will stop you moping.”
Moping?“I quite like the moping,” I mutter.
“You’re getting worse not better,” Kate says, with a stubborn shift to her jaw. And goddammit, Kate is fiercer than Jo when she’s on a mission. I hunker down into my body. I’m going to have to live through this onslaught, or intervention or whatever the fuck is happening here. I’m happily digging a hole for myself—why can’t they leave me in it?
