Page 38 of The Secret
Monday, June 17 to Wednesday, June 19, 2019
Two weeks after Dan’s visit, the seminar room is quiet, heads bent over laptops as the summer students all work on the task I’ve given them, and I bounce my foot as I stare down at my phone. No messages from Dan in six days. We normally email every couple of days, send a text or photo daily, and talk once a week. I’ve tried calling him multiple times since he didn’t answer my first call and each time it’s gone straight to voicemail. I blow out a long breath.You know how communications are in Africa.He could be somewhere remote, out of reach. There’s nothing on his Facebook page; it’s still the post he made while he was here with me. I type in another message:
Getting worried about you now. Let me know you’re okay.
But I receive no response all morning. After my lecture, I head over to the café in the central university buildings to grab some lunch, taking it out to the park over the road to sit in the sun. But my stomach is queasy, and I pick over my sandwich and grimace, placing it on the bench beside me. Aside from his email and phone number, the only other thing I’ve got is an address in Harare he gave me before he left.
I fire off a message to Jo as I set my coffee down next to me. I don’t want to interrupt Kate when she’s in the ER, and after about thirty seconds my phone vibrates in my hand.
“You’ve still not heard from him?” Jo’s soft tones fill my ear as she moves about and a door closes. “How many days is it now?”
“Six. I just … I don’t know what to do. It’s so odd.”
She hums a little. “I think you’ve got to go out there.”
I take a sip from my cup.
“I just don’t see any other option,” she adds.
“Going to Zimbabwe after six days? It seems a little extreme. There could be a simple explanation. He could be out in the bush somewhere, visiting a village or …”
“Wouldn’t he have told you he’d be uncontactable?”
I scuff my foot on the concrete of the quad. “Yeah. Yeah, he would.”
“I’ll pay, Liss. Don’t be thinking about that.”
“I’ve got money. It’s just I haven’t got enough to go out for any length of time.”
“My business is doing well. A flight is nothing to Janus. He flies to Asia for a two-hour meeting. Just …”
“I’m not getting into debt to Janus.” I run my free hand through my hair. “I sent Dan another email yesterday, and it bounced back, like it’s no longer working. All the others went through. That’s odd, isn’t it?”
“Emails can bounce for a lot of reasons. Servers can be down, the mailbox can be full, or your address could be the problem. Did it send you a message?”
“Yeah.”
“Forward it on to me.”
I take the phone from my ear and tap on my email app.
“You don’t think going out to Harare comes across as a bit crazy lady? Like turning up at a guy’s office because he didn’t offer a second date?”
She laughs. “I think you and Dan are way beyond second-date territory. He told you he’d be waiting for you. He’s going to be delighted if you go and see him. Hang on and let me check why it bounced back. Hmmm. It says the email address no longer exists.”
“What?He deleted it?”
“Not necessarily, they can be taken down for all sorts of reasons.”
I scuff the floor again. “Maybe he got fed up with waiting. You were right, Jo; I should have left everything to be with him. I’m kicking myself.” Yet again, I’ve fucked up a relationship with a guy who’s dropped me like a hot potato.
“You’ve known him what? Five months? If he’s done waiting, then he’s the most impatient man on the planet. No one gives up something good after five months. If you were two years down the line and had had a series of conversations about how difficult long-distance was, then maybe. But not after such a short time.”
I let out an extended sigh. “Yeah, yeah. I guess.”
“You’ve had a succession of awful guys, Liss, but the good ones are solid. Trust me. They don’t buckle after five months.”
Has something happened to him? I chew my lip. An accident or illness or … he could be in hospital. How would I know? His life in Zimbabwe is a mystery. What do I know about him really? His family? My willingness to sweep things under the carpet is looking like a really dubious decision now.Stupid, stupid, Liss. Is he gone forever?Oh, God.Is he okay?So many questions.
