Page 64 of The Secret
“Do you really think that, Liss? It matters to me.”
I stand up. The desire to flee is strong.
“It was a long time ago. It’s way too late for this conversation now. It’s not going to change anything.” I almost roll my eyes at how dramatic this sounds.
“Do you really think that?” His tone is rough as he stares up at me, not moving.
“Of course, Dan! You have a family and a farm and …”
“You know about my family?” he says, and hearing that admission come out of his mouth, just like that, punches all the air out of me, and I collapse back down with a whoosh into my seat. He tilts his head and scans my face.
“I … well … I just … when I saw you, they were there …” I wave my hand. “After you came to New York and disappeared”—I swallow past the tightness in my throat—“I didn’t understand what had happened. I looked for you.”
When I think back to that New York visit, I’m light-headed at his duplicity.
“You looked for me?” He sounds stunned. But why is he surprised? Of course I looked for him! Then his mind seems to jump on. “What do you mean,theywere there?”
But I want some answers of my own. “Why did you come to see me in New York?”
He runs a shaky hand through his hair. “It was special, Liss.” His voice is tight, with a slight wobble in it that tells me he’s as affected by this conversation as I am, or else he’s one hell of an actor. “I wanted you to come back to Africa. I was worried that you wouldn’t.”
What on earth is he saying? Maybe he wanted a mistress? Oh. My. God.That’swhat he thought this was? Is he thinking I would beflattered? Is this why he’s herenow?Holy shit.
“I don’t think that would have happened.”
“You wouldn’t have come back?” His face goes white. “You promised me you would.”
My lips thin. “I think I would have realized about your family sooner or later. Were you planning on keeping it a secret?”
“No, no. Of course not. I would have told you eventually.”
Something white hot flashes through me.He was expecting me to just fall into that?Is he crazy? God, I don’t know him at all. And he certainly doesn’t know me. “I’m not okay with being lied to.”
His face creases like he’s in pain. “I’m so sorry, Liss. I couldn’t use my real name in Congo. It would have made things very difficult. I thought …” He pauses and lets out a long sigh. “My father was too well known.”
Hisfather? “What?”
“He was Minister for Finance in South Africa. He owned a lot of land and business interests there and was well known across the continent. He was shot and killed a week after I came back from New York. That’s why I left Zimbabwe: Life got pretty complicated for a while. I had to go back to South Africa immediately.”
My mouth falls open. His father wasshot? And there’s so many things in what he’s said—where do I start?
“I came to the address you gave me in Zimbabwe,” I whisper. I’m not sure why I say this—it’s far too revealing.
“What?” His voice is loud and cracking. People in the reception area turn around, and the lady at the next table peers at me over her cup, then at him as he lets out a long groan.
She’s still looking at us when I lean forward, lowering my tone. “After I didn’t hear from you, after I couldn’t raise a response by email or text, I went to the address you gave me. They’d never heard of you.”
“You came back for me?” His whole face changes, his voice eager, hurried. “I gave up the house when I went back to South Africa. I had to leave immediately. There were some threats, credible threats, and the Secret Service put us in a safehouse. But my father has an estate, a big farm, and with the overthrow of the government recently, there’s … well, it’s safer now, and we’ve been able to go back there.”
Hearing the word “us” and “we” makes my skin crawl.Did he live in the safehouse with his wife and child?
He laughs harshly. “The farm. It’s a mess. Such a lot of work. I’ve … I’m … it’s been a tough and unhappy three years.”
“But your family are there with you? On the farm?” Ugh. The fact he’s unhappy lights up something inside. And it shouldn’t. It really shouldn’t. But I’m only human.
He sighs. “Yes. It’s been my family home for generations.”
Well, that explains that. Perhaps he wanted a mistress, some kind of fling, and then got overtaken by events. It’s all moot now, a strange accident of fate. I put on a polite smile.
