Page 5 of The Secret
Lauren is the eldest and a doctor in pediatrics, and I’ve laughingly told her how many children she could save in the poorest parts of Africa, but her only response is how much it’d piss Dad off if she moved abroad.
Trying to convince my siblings how manipulative Dad can be is an uphill battle. He’s controlled their lives and still controls them. But despite all this, Lauren and I have a solid relationship: We both care passionately about our vocations, and if I play it right with her and don’t stray onto the subject of Dad, we have a lot in common.
“Liss! How are you doing?”
“I’m great thanks … You?”
“Oh, you know, too much work, too little time.”
We always start like this, cautiously circling. My desire to burst out of it into something real is like a pressure at the back of my throat.
“I’ve been offered an amazing job, and so I’m excited.”
“Wow, Liss, that sounds excellent.” She laughs. “But will it make Dad happy?”
Why is this her first thought? Is she being sarcastic? But no, that’s not my sister’s style. Ugh. And who cares? It makesmehappy. She’s partly joking, because I always make him angry, but still. She defines what she does by making him happy, and I hate it. She probably hates the fact that I do the opposite.
“God no. I know you know me well enough to understand that I’d never do anything just to please Dad. It’s a project in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, going back to a place I went to three years ago.” My voice catches and I swallow down the lump in my throat. “They’re funding an initiative to work with the people and communities after all the fighting, and they want me to run it. The pay’s a lot better, so you can imagine I’m super excited about that. I’m working on getting to the point where I make such a difference there, Dad will just have to apologize to me.” That’s bravado talking, but, fuck it all, I don’t need anyone putting a damper on my enthusiasm before I’m even out there.
“Don’t hold your breath for that. Do you want Mom or Dad?”
Damn, I’ve made her uncomfortable now: She hates confrontation. How does she survive as a doctor? I would have thought the medical profession was full of it, with a boatload of difficult patients. Perhaps she calms them all down with her niceness.
“Wait, tell me about you before you run off. What’s keeping you so busy at work?”
She pauses, and I sense she’s on the edge of flight, debating whether the conversation will become more difficult.
“Some delightful and very sick kids.”
Another long pause. Then she says, “I’m here with David for a few days.”
David is Lauren’s super-sweet boyfriend, the kind of guy that would never do for me, who’d run a mile if you flirted with him. He treads a thin line with Dad because Dad thinks he’s not aggressive or macho enough, but he’s incredible to Lauren and earns serious money because he’s an uber-smart computer programmer. So, Dad finds it hard to find fault with him. Lauren picked someone the complete polar opposite of our father, and I want to shout that from the rooftops.
“The lovely David! How is he?”
“Oh, he’s wonderful, as always.”
Do I detect a sigh in her tone? I hope David proposes to her soon. They’re perfect in their sweetness together.
“On our anniversary he took me on this romantic camping trip, candles, champagne, the works. I thought he was going to propose!” Her voice drops to a whisper, and I smile, glad she’s relaxed into confiding in me.
“And he didn’t?”
“No.” It comes out on another soft breath, and I make a mental note to have a word with him and tell him to get off the fence.
“I’m sure he will—he’s probably just nervous. He’s crazy about you, Lauren.”
“Is he? Sometimes I wonder if he’s married to his job.”
Lauren has never spoken to me about David like this, and I squeeze my eyes shut.Damn. I have extensive experience with guys who disappoint. She’s talking to me now … and nobody else in the family is going to help … Can I play helpful younger sibling here?
“You two have been together for five years. He runs around doing all sorts of stuff for you, and he’s at home with you now, isn’t he? He puts up with Dad. If you think he’s not fully invested, you’re crazy.”
She laughs, but I can hear the pleasure in her voice when she says, “I do like chatting with you, Liss. You cheer me up.”
“Don’t be silly. Put David on, I want to say hi.”
Can I do something about this? If I don’t chat with him now, it’ll never happen.
