Page 28 of The Secret
“I’ve no money, Jo. Nothing to live off. I can’t just ‘stay out there.’” I make air quotes with my hands as I glower at her.
Kate’s eyes flit back and forth between us and then soften on me. “You probably just need to plan it all out, so you have a date for when you’re going back,” she says, ever the pragmatist.
“She doesn’t need to work it all out! She needs to get her ass back on that plane and show him she’s committed to making it work. Running away won’t find her a decent guy, and some other woman will move in and snap him up!” Jo exclaims. “Like that Emma woman you were telling us about.”
“Like you moved in on Janus so fast,” I say, as she scowls. “I seem to remember …”
“That was different.”
“No, it goddamn wasn’t.”
“My reputation was at stake. I think you’re forgetting …”
Leaning over the table, I open my mouth to tell her why she’s just as relationship jumpy as I am, when Kate holds up her hands.
“Guys, come on. Liss has just got back. My job is stressful, and this is my lunch hour. Patients might be dying as we speak.”
Jo and I glower at each other. She’s got no right to criticize me when she danced around Janus for months. But damn it, Kate’s always been an expert at cutting to the chase.
She pats my hand. “You need the security of earning some money and not relying on a man. Totally understandable, but Jo is right: We have to get you back out there asap. How fast do you think you could do it?”
I shrug. “This six-week maternity leave I’m covering is admin work, but they said they might use me to teach some international aid modules for one of their courses since I’m here and available.”
“They’re going to pay you extra to do some teaching?”
“Possibly.”
“That’s fantastic, Liss.”
“It does sound great,” Jo says. “It’s amazing they’d add some stuff into a course based around you.”
I was thinking this too. My brow furrows. “Yeah, I’m not sure why they’re prepared to do that. Maybe it suits them because they don’t have to take on a full-time member of staff.”
“They’ve done it because you’re smart and talented,” Kate says staunchly.
I love that she thinks this, but before I went out to Africa, I’d just finished my master’s and I fumbled through every seminar they let me teach.
Jo’s head is down as she stirs her coffee, and I curl my fingers into my palms. I shouldn’t be grumpy with her. But I can’t help feeling hollowed out, like a tornado has ripped through my insides.
When he worked on site, his blond curls used to turn dark with sweat and cling to the back of his neck, and a smile would twist over his lips when I made some joke about him being a weakling.Why didn’t I stay?Depending on him when we were so new felt so wrong, and I didn’t want to set that tone to what we had.
“Sorry,” I mumble, eyes prickling. “I didn’t want to leave him.”
Jo’s head lifts, and she reaches out and grabs my hand over the table.
“I’m sorry too. You’ve had so many awful experiences with men, and I’m so happy you’ve finally found a good one, I got carried away.”
I squeeze her hand. They lived through every one of those bad experiences with me. “I’m glad you and Janus got together.”
Kate and I turn to look at Jo when I say this, and Jo examines both of our faces and starts to laugh.
“Look at the pair of you, you’re all starry-eyed!”
“Jo, you landed the most eligible guy on the planet,” Kate mumbles.
Enough of this sappiness.I slap my hand down on the table. “We need details. I come home, I’m all depressed about Dan, and it’s not acceptable that you’re not cheering me up by telling me what Janus is like in bed. Every woman in New York has been drooling over him for forever, and you owe us”—I gesture to Kate and myself—“as your best friends who’ve always had your back, detailed descriptions of what that insanely hot man can do.”
Jo is still laughing as she rubs her palms up her face. “Kill me now.”
