Page 21 of The Secret
“Did I fuck up?” I mumble.
She shakes her head. “No, you made the right call.”
11
LISS
Friday, February 8, 2019
On Friday, at the end of a hard few days, Brian offers us a night out in Kiwanja. The local town is a collection of old colonial government buildings and a shanty town, and he’s promised a bar and beer. The weariness in my arms and the dryness in my throat do nothing to dampen the adrenaline pumping through my veins. Every day has been eat, sleep, build, repeat.
Emma is singing loudly along to some pop tune on the radio, and I sway next to her. Dan turns from the front to grin at the pair of us, and I want to lean forward and plant a kiss on his firm lips. The soft brush across my lips he gave me after we shared a bed has been playing over and over ever since we got back, though I have no idea what’s going on in his head.Maybe tonight, Liss.
“I don’t want to have to rescue you girls this evening,” Brian says from the driver’s seat. “So don’t go overboard.”
I wink at Dan, and he grins back, before turning to face the road again, slapping his hand on the roof and opening his mouth for the chorus.Not bad. With a glance at Brian, he nudges his arm and Brian groans, but belts out the words too, tapping the wheel with his fingers. And I carry on swaying from side to side, grinning. A hard day’s work and close friends—is there anything better?
When we arrive, the bar is full of local people, military guys, and aid workers. Five men are huddled around a pool table in one corner, and one of them catches my eye as I soak in the chatter and laughter. With a nudge to his friend, he glances over, and I grin to myself and look away. Tonight is going to be entertaining—lots of men to flirt and have fun with—maybe that will get some reaction from Dan. His broad shoulders and tumbling blond curls are like a wall in front of me as he heads to the counter with Brian, and a shiver runs down my spine.I want to have fun with him.Emma bounces forward and waves her hand in my face.
“Jukebox!” she squeaks, pointing over the floor and heading away. A guy detaches himself from the crowd and moves toward her, and I laugh. Tonight is going to be crazy. As I reach the bar, Brian peers at Emma and rolls his eyes, then points his finger in my face.
“No trouble,” he warns. “Or this one here will be bailing you out.” He jerks his thumb at Dan.
I grin at Dan and raise my eyebrows at him, and he laughs.
An hour later and I’m leaning against the side of the pool table surrounded by the five men I clocked earlier. After we’d been at the bar for fifteen minutes, Dan disappeared, and they came over and dragged me off, protesting.
“Woohoo, darlin’!” one of the guys shouts as I hit a ball.
They’re all standing too close, slurring their words and being a little handsy, so I’ve kept moving round the table. The one who eyed me up has laid claim to me by leaning down and coaching me through each shot every time I line up the cue.
Glancing around, I spot a head of blond curls. Dan’s seated at the other side of the room talking to a woman with bleached hair and curling red lips. My stomach sinks. He’s chatting up someoneelse? A sharp pain stabs through my chest. After sharing a bed with him, I thought things were good, but maybe, like a lot of guys, he just wants sex.And I did go off and play pool with five other guys. I stare at the green baize of the table. Honestly? I think I’d be down for whatever he was offering.
Emma and Brian have disappeared. The pool table guys are whispering and looking at me.Damn.I make my last shot into the pocket, which gets me raucous cheers, and I wave at them cheerfully before heading back to the bar. Sweat trickles down my spine. What am Idoing? Tequila. That’s what I need. Two arms land on the counter on either side of me, and a body presses into me from behind.
“I’ll buy you a drink, darlin’.” Ugh. My friend from the pool table.
He nibbles my ear. An hour in and I’m already in trouble.Why, Liss, why?How am I going to extract myself from this one? When I turn around, his face is inches away as he grins a drunken grin at me. I lean into his ear, and he bends toward me.
“I’m a cross-dresser,” I say quietly. “You okay with that?”
With a start, he rocks back, eyes like saucers, and scans down my body. I place my hand on his chest, digging in my fingers and purring at him, “I like to be honest and upfront, so you know what to expect.”
He nods, licking his lips as his eyes flick sideways. Then gestures behind him at the pool table.
“I’d better go and …”
He lurches off, and I turn back around, hot with relief. My eye catches Dan’s blond head again still dipped down to talk to his lady.Don’t stare. The bottles are lined up along a shelf on the back wall of the bar, and I purse my lips and gesture at the bartender for a tequila shot. If Dan’s picking up another woman tonight, then I’m getting wasted. I knock back the alcohol and slide onto a vacant stool.You should have kissed him back, Liss. Gesturing at the barman again, I tap my foot against the wooden counter.
Without warning, Dan appears at my side and leans over the battered counter, raising his hand and asking for a beer and a tequila.One for the lady. Ugh.
“What happened to your fan club?” he asks, tipping his head toward the pool table, and when I turn to look at him, he seems as open and friendly as normal. The words have no sting in them, nothing to indicate he’s jealous. Maybe he flirts with everyone he meets.Like me. And my first impressions of him come roaring back. He’s good-looking and charming; he probably sleeps with all the women he can.Like Nick. Ugh. I’ve only myself to blame. This is a game I started.I flirted with Dan the first morning I met him.
Shaking my head, I say, “I think I’ve managed to put them off. Nice lady?” My question is way more loaded than his. I’m failing to be cool.
Nodding, he turns to face the bar and studies the bottles behind it. Then he leans sideways toward me and says quietly, “I don’t play games, Liss.”
I examine the side of his face.
