Page 11 of Dared
As soon as Paula released my arms I sat up, shaking my arms while she watched solicitously.
“Are you sure you’re, okay?” she asked.
I shifted to my knees and placed my hands on her shoulders, waiting for her to meet my eyes.
“I’m more than okay. That was...incredible.”
She opened her mouth to respond but she was interrupted by a knock on the door letting us know that our time in the room was up.
“We should get dressed,” Paula said quietly. “Our time is up here.”
She slipped off the bed, holding out a hand to help me but remaining totally silent. The longer the silence lasted, the more nervous I got. Had she not enjoyed what we’d done? Because she sure seemed like she had.
“Are you okay?” I finally asked. “You seem weirded out.”
“Why would I be weirded out?” she asked with a slightly manic tone. “Because I tied you up and used you as a fuck toy, practically suffocating you with my damn pussy? Or maybe because I forgot to untie you even as your arms were cramping?”
“You didn’t hear me complaining,” I reminded her. “I let you know as soon as I felt uncomfortable.”
“You shouldn’t have to. That’s my job.”
I walked closer, grabbing her hands.
“Paula. The scene was good. More than good. I loved everything we did here tonight. In fact, I’d like to do it again sometime. Hopefully soon. If you’re game, I mean.”
“I’m sorry,” she said softly, her eyes looking everywhere but at me. “So so sorry.”
“But there’s nothing to be sorry for,” I protested, unsure why she seemed to be freaking out.
She grabbed her clothes, pulling them on quickly before rushing towards the door. She paused with her hand on the door handle. Meanwhile, I stood near the bed, still completely naked.
“Are you, um, do you need aftercare?” Paula stared at a spot just past my right shoulder.
I shook my head. “No. I feel fine, and I didn’t drop into subspace or anything.”
“Okay, great, again, I’m really so sorry.”
Paula turned and opened the door.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” I repeated as she walked out of the room.
If she heard me, she didn’t show it.
Paula
I got up early the next morning eager to take a long run. Running was a lifelong hobby, and I often used my runs to think about what was happening in my life and process my emotions. And after last night, I had a shit ton of emotions to process.
Pulling on my running clothes, I set off through the light drizzle. The morning was grey, just like my mood.
I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. The logical part of me could tell that Luisa had enjoyed what we’d done last night, and I certainly had enjoyed it myself. More than enjoyed it. I’d come harder than I’d come in my life, and there was no way Luisa was faking that almost violently intense orgasm I’d given her.
Maybe it was because I’d been so into what we were doing that I’d lost my iron-clad control. Some small part of me worried that losing control even a little bit was a slippery slope to turning into someone like my dad.
You weren’t feeling violent,I reminded myself.You’ve never had a violent urge in your life. There’s was no control in the violence you grew up with.
Maybe the real problem was that everything had been too overwhelming. The strength of my emotions for Luisa, my attraction, the intensity of the sex. It had made me feel things that I typically kept repressed.
The more I ran, the more my head cleared. Then the embarrassment set in. I’d acted like a total weirdo in front of Luisa, freaking out, not listening to what she was telling me, and worse yet, shirking at my dominatrix duties. The instructors had drilled into us repeatedly the importance of aftercare, that even if a submissive told us they were okay, we needed to stay with them and make sure they really were.
