Page 83 of When She Falls (The Fallen)
“Vale doesn’t talk about it much.”
“She wasn’t here for it, was she?” Some sharpness slips into her tone. “It accelerated after she ran.”
I frown. Did that cause Gemma to internalize a certain lesson about what happens when you go against your family? Is that why she argued so adamantly with Vale when Vale just floated the idea of breaking off the engagement to Messero?
No wonder Garzolo didn’t have to say much to convince her this marriage is nonnegotiable. She’d been primed for it.
When rationalizing this marriage, Gemma always talks about other people. What they want. What they need. But what about her own needs? Does she even know what they are? Or has she spent her whole life learning how to repress them?
I swallow past the unpleasant taste inside my mouth. This is fucked up. Garzolo is putting the responsibility of his whole family on Gemma’s shoulders. That burden should be Garzolo’s to carry, not hers.
We come to a stoplight, and she glances at me. “If my marriage can help ensure that never happens again, it’s a bargain, don’t you think?”
“You really think it’ll be enough? In your father’s line of work, peace doesn’t last.”
A shadow passes over her expression. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I knew I could have helped my family, but I chose not to.”
My heart lodges itself between my ribs.
She’s determined to do this.
It should be a good thing. It should make it easier for me to stay focused on what I came here to do. But it sure as hell doesn’t feel great to hear her talk about how ready she is to sacrifice herself. And to Messero of all people. That man will never appreciate the gift he’s been handed. Gemma deserves better than this.
Still, there’s nothing I can do. Not when she’s convinced this is the right thing.
When we reach the Pilates studio, she turns to me, her expression grave. “Ras?”
“Yeah?”
“What happened in the dressing room… It can’t happen again.”
I should have known it was coming, but hearing her say those words still feels like a punch in the gut. We’re walking on different paths. Paths that aren’t meant to intertwine. Whatever’s been brewing between us needs to end, despite how tempting it is. Because no matter how drawn I am to her, she’s not meant for me.
Her eyes burn brightly as she holds my gaze, waiting for me to acknowledge her words.
It’s me who eventually looks away. “I’ll pick you up in an hour.”
CHAPTER18
GEMMA
I manageto keep myself at home for the next few days, avoiding any more alone time with Ras.
The wedding planner comes to the house, showing Cleo, Mamma, and me linens, options for the centerpieces, and bringing us cake samples. I ask lots of questions, forcing myself to occupy my mind with something other than the man living a few doors down from me. My diligence earns me praise from Mamma and an exasperated glare from Cleo.
“Can you chill?” she asks after the planner leaves on Friday. “You’re setting way too high of a standard.”
“How’s Ludovico? I haven’t heard anything about him since I got back.”
She smirks. “Me neither. Apparently, he’s on the fence about me after our last meeting.”
“I never asked you what happened.”
“In Mamma’s words, I ate like it was the first time I’ve used cutlery, and when Ludovico commented on it, I told him to leave me alone. He called me uncivilized. I told him he probably has a small dick.”
I rub my temple. “Cleo…”
“What? It must be true, because he got really mad after that. Mamma’s been trying to smooth things over ever since, but I hope she doesn’t. I hate him.”
