Page 141 of When She Falls (The Fallen)
“Yeah, I did. We had a slight…difference in opinion.” He runs his hand over his beard.
“What does that mean?”
His gaze slides my way. “He ordered me to leave New York on my own.”
Oh.Oh.“Are you telling me you disobeyed Damiano’s orders to bring me here?”
“He wanted me to leave you behind,” he says by way of an answer.
My stomach hollows out. “Ras, what happens to men who disobey their don?”
He says nothing, but his eyes give it away.
This is as good as a betrayal. He’s betrayed Damiano for me. An underboss doesn’t betray a don if he wants to live.
Despair dries out my throat. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
He looks at me from under his thick brows. “The alternative was to bring you to Rafaele. I couldn’t do it, Peaches.”
I stand up. “So you threw your life away on my behalf without even telling me about it? Clearly, you knew I wouldn’t be happy about it since you delayed telling me for four days!”
His jaw hardens. “I didn’t wantthisto happen. I didn’t want you to get upset over something that’s already done. I made a decision, Gemma. I knew the consequences when I made it. There is nothing for you to feel guilty about.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “Damiano is your oldest friend. He’s your don.” I don’t understand how he could have done something like this. How he can act like any of this makes any sense.
Ras stands up too. “Let me be clear about something. After I watched your father try to beat the shit out of you, there was no way, no fucking way I was going to leave you alone in that city.”
My heart clenches.
He brings his hand to my face and swipes his knuckles over my bruised cheek. “I know what it cost me. And I’d pay that same damn price again and again if it means I can keep you safe.”
“You had no right to keep the fine print of that decision from me,” I say weakly.
“Gemma, none of it matters. Until I met you, I didn’t even realize how fucking hollow my life has been. For the past decade, I’ve lived to serve Damiano, and I did it willingly. It gave me purpose and meaning. But it’s never made me truly happy.”
“And I do?”
His gaze sparks. “You make me so fucking happy that I feel like a new man.”
He means it. His voice rings with certainty and conviction that I wish I felt.
Familiar doubts creep in.
Am I enough to fill in the holes he’s created in his life?
How could I possibly beall thatfor him?
“Why don’t you try to call Damiano? If you explain everything to him, he’ll listen to you.”
Ras shakes his head. “I can’t risk it. I disobeyed a direct command from a don. For the Casalesi, that’s an offense punishable by death.”
I can feel the blood drain from my face. “Ras, he’d never do that to you.”
“Maybe not, but he made it clear he didn’t want me to take you away. Until I can be sure he’s not going to try to track us down, I can’t risk it.”
“When will that be?”
“I don’t know, Gemma. I’m sorry. I feel fucking terrible that you won’t be able to talk to Vale for a while, but I promise you it won’t be forever. I just need time to figure everything out.”
