Page 162 of When She Falls (The Fallen)
My legs are weak as I make my way to the bathroom. My heart is pounding so loudly in my chest that it feels like it might burst. I try to take deep breaths, but they come out shaky and uneven. I close the bathroom door behind me and stare down at the stick lying by the sink.
Two lines.
Two fucking lines.
“Gem?” Cleo appears in the doorway.
I don’t trust myself to speak, so I just hold up the test.
There’s a long pause before she responds. “Shit.”
I brush past her and collapse in a chair across from my bed.
Pregnant. The word echoes in my mind, refusing to be silenced. How could I have been so careless?
I know how. That day was pure chaos. I didn’t even think of the morning-after pill when Ras picked me up off my father’s office floor.
But now I have to think about it.
I’m fuckingpregnant.
“This is a disaster,” I say numbly. Rafaele won’t marry me while I’m pregnant with another man’s baby. If I tell our parents, I’m sure they’ll make me get rid of it.
I feel sick just thinking of doing that. Not because of my moral beliefs, but because this isourbaby. A part of Ras inside of me. My hand presses over my flat belly, thinking of how he’d react if he knew.
I think he’d be happy.
An ache fills my chest. I need him so badly right now. He’d know what to do.
Cleo paces the room. “Telling Mamma or Papà is out of the question. We know how they’ll react.”
No, we can’t tell them. I’m not going to let them take this baby from me.
So I have to run, but on my own this time.
Run where?
I have to find Ras. But first I have to get to Europe, and my odds aren’t good. How can I get away from Rafaele and Papà on my own? I can’t just run away without a plan. But I have to do something. I can’t stay here.
An aggravated groan escapes me.
“What am I going to do?” I murmur. “Rafaele and Papà need me. They’ll force me to get rid of it.”
“Rafaele wouldn’t do that,” Cleo says. “You know how traditional his family is.”
“Don’t be naïve. In our world, they only respect the traditions that serve them. Rafaele won’t raise another man’s baby.”
I could pretend the baby is his. The timing wouldn’t be that far off since the wedding is next week.
The moment the thought passes through my head, I know I can’t do it. I can’t keep Ras’s child from him like that.
“I don’t know what to do.” My vision blurs. “I never should have left him. You’re right, Cleo. I should have been brave and stayed. He loved me, and I broke his heart because I was so damn scared that one day, he’d regret sacrificing so much for me. I was so insecure and so worried about the future that I completely missed what was right in front of me. He and I could have had a family together. We would have been happy. Instead, I fucked everything up.”
Cleo wraps her palm over my shoulder and peers into my eyes. “Is that what you want? Do you want to be with Ras?”
“Yes. More than anything.” The lies I told him right before I left press into my brain. I’d have to beg him to forgive me and hope it’s not too late.
“Are you willing to fight for it?”
