Page 149 of When She Falls (The Fallen)
When he pulls out of me, I’m on the verge of panic.
He’s still catching his breath as he steps back, spreads my legs, and looks at where my pussy is leaking his cum all over the dinner table. Satisfaction flashes inside his eyes. He traces his fingertips over the inside of my thigh. “Seeing that makes me so fucking crazy, baby. You have no idea.”
I sweep my palms over my face to wipe away the wetness and slide off the table. “I’m going to get cleaned up,” I mumble, already on my way to the bathroom.
I need to numb myself. I need to separate my brain from my heart.
And then I need to tell him.
In the shower, I stay under freezing cold water until I can’t stand it a second longer, and then I pad into the bedroom. Ras’s lying on the bed in his boxer briefs, his arms folded behind his head, biceps bulging.
I think he might have fallen asleep, but when he hears me, his eyes spring open.
The reverent look he gives me nearly kills me.
I know with absolute certainty no one will ever look at me that way again. My conviction wavers for a moment, but I steel my spine and tighten my robe around me.
There are no other options. It has to be done.
“Ras, I have to tell you something.”
“What is it?” he asks, sounding unconcerned.
“I think I made a mistake.”
He gives me a kind smile. “Whatever it is, we can fix it.”
“I…” My gaze drops to my feet. “I can’t do this with you.”
There’s a long, horrible pause.
“What?” He sounds confused.
I force myself to look at him. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to be here with you anymore.”
He sits up. “Gemma, what are you talking about?”
“I hardly knew what was happening when you said we were leaving New York. There was no time to think. I made a mistake.”
“You don’t mean that. Why are you saying this shit?”
My hands are trembling. I link my fingers behind my back. “It’s the truth. I can’t live on the run with you for the rest of my life. I can’t abandon Vale and Cleo. I don’t want this.”
He’s shaking his head like he doesn’t believe me. “You’re happy here.”
“They’re my family,” I force past my tightening throat. “I want to be able to see them.”
“Just give me some time,” he says. “I just need more time to figure it out.”
“There is no time. I’m going back home tomorrow. I’ve already arranged the plane with my brother.”
His face turns pale. He stands up, all of his muscled glory on display, and crosses the distance between us, stopping inches away. “You didwhat?”
I swallow.
One day, he’ll wake up and realize that I wasn’t worth throwing his life away. He says he loves me, but it’s because he doesn’t really know me. He doesn’t know how pathetic I am.
I’ve spent my whole life chasing my parents’ validation. I’ve allowed my father to beat me for years without standing up for myself. I’m good at shrinking myself and making myself inconsequential.
