Page 145 of When She Falls (The Fallen)
Tears prick the backs of my eyes. “Don’t you feel any guilt? For what happened between you and Dem? For the people that care about you wondering where you are?”
He smooths my hair back. “If guilt is the price I have to pay to be with you, I’ll pay it. Gladly.”
It’s easy for him to say that now. But what about weeks from now? What happens when it all finally sinks in?
He sees the hesitation in my gaze and frowns. “Don’t you believe me?”
I swallow down my distress and lie. “I do. Of course, I do.”
CHAPTER31
GEMMA
Guilt is physical.It’s a parasite that grows inside your gut, getting bigger and bigger with each passing day, feeding on you.
It’s day eight when I break.
If I don’t fix this, the parasite will consume me entirely.
Even if Ras takes years to resent me, I’ll resent myself far sooner than that.
While Ras is out at the store getting groceries, I take my old phone out of the nightstand and search the drawer in the kitchen that’s filled with all kinds of cords and chargers.
When I find one that matches my phone, I take it as a sign.
I count the seconds until the screen flickers to life. I quickly write down Cleo’s number, turn the phone back off, and dial her using the burner phone.
It doesn’t take her long to pick up. “Hello?”
I sit down at the kitchen table, my legs wobbly at hearing her voice. “Cleo,” I breathe.
There’s a surprised gasp. “Gem! You came up on my caller ID as Unknown. Where are you?”
“Somewhere far. Are you okay? Tell me what’s going on.”
“Shit, hold on. Let me go into the bathroom to make sure no one hears. I don’t even know where to start. Are you with Ras?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, good,” she says, sounding relieved. “Shit, Gem. No one knows where you two went. Papà’s ordered all of his capos to look for you, but no one else in the clan knows you’re gone. He’s keeping it hush-hush and has told Rafaele he’ll get you back in no time. Papà’s been trying to get your location from Damiano, but Damiano says he doesn’t know where you went. No one believes him.”
“Do people think Ras took me away on Damiano’s orders?”
“Of course. Didn’t he?”
I feel a tinge of relief. Is Damiano covering for Ras? He could have made it clear that Ras acted on his own and thus deflect any blame, but he didn’t. That means there’s still hope they can reconcile.
I clutch the phone tighter. “So Papà’s still in jail?”
“Yes. Listen, apparently the whole succession thing is now in question. Rafaele’s refusing to help Papà. He said he’s not doing anything until Papà delivers on his side of the bargain.”
I thought that might happen. Rafaele doesn’t seem like the type to hand out favors without a clear repayment plan. “And Vince? Is he back?”
“He is. I told him he’s a fucking prick. Actually, I told him a lot more than that. You should have seen us when he first showed up. Ma had to practically pull me off him.”
So my brother returned to New York. Now that I’m not conveniently solving all of his problems, he’s had to step up.
“What’s his position on all of this?” I ask.
