Page 104 of When She Falls (The Fallen)
I’m still trying to pull myself together when Gemma finds me by the bar. I’m about to order a drink I desperately need.
“Hey, where did you go?” She places her hand on my sleeve. “We need to talk.”
“I know.” I flag the bartender down and order a beer. “I was catching up with an old friend.”
“Oh? I didn’t know you knew anyone from Messero’s crew.”
“I didn’t know he worked for Messero. It was a…surprise.”
She nods. “I need to find Cleo to make sure she eats something before we go to the club. Otherwise she’ll be wasted in fifteen minutes.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Nunzio and Sara step out of the room where I left them. Nunzio’s palm is pressed against his neck to hide the marks I left.
His gaze meets mine, furious and vengeful. The next time we meet, I’m not sure there’s anything that’ll stop us from putting this to rest one way or another.
“Who’s that?” Gemma asks.
The bartender hands me a beer, and I tip it against my lips. Nunzio and Sara weave through the crowd until they disappear. “No one.”
“What’s wrong?”
She gazes at me, looking so fucking lovely and concerned about me that I get a terrible urge to lean down and kiss her.
“Have you ever gotten a single thing you’ve truly wanted?”
No. Because after Sara, I stopped wanting anything for myself. I didn’t want to risk having something I cared about only for someone to take it away from me. Again.
I found my purpose serving Damiano and being his right-hand man, but is that really all I want out of life?
Gemma’s brows pinch together as she waits for my answer.
She and I, we’re not so different after all. She’s been devoted to her family, neglecting her own wants in service of them.
And me… Well, I’ve devoted myself to Dem and his mission. I’ve even managed to convince myself I’ve found happiness doing that.
But I’ve been lying to myself.
I’m not happy.
Last time I fell hard for a woman, I lost her.
And I think that’s going to happen again.
Because I can’t have Gemma without blowing everything to pieces and going against my don’s will.
CHAPTER22
GEMMA
We sit down for dinner.Something is wrong with Ras tonight, but I can’t figure out what. He’s been quiet since I found him by the bar, his brows furrowed in thought.
Mamma’s last-minute trip to the Hamptons couldn’t have happened at a worse time. She said she wanted to give us a chance to process the news we got somewhere calm, but I have a feeling Papà asked her to take us away so that we wouldn’t talk about it in the house while Ras is around.
It’s way too late for that though. Ras knows what he plans to do to our family.
Mamma made sure to offer us plenty of her usual guidance.“Remember, you may not understand your father’s ways, but everything he does is to protect our family.”
I’m so sick of hearing that. She said it all the time to us growing up.
