Page 144 of When She Tempts (The Fallen)
Not after what I lived through.
I don’t feel numb anymore.
That terrifying emptiness inside my chest after Imogen’s death? It’s all filled in. Somehow, I’ve managed to pack it full of conviction and a desire to focus on the future.
I’ve healed. And I’ve sure as hell earned the right to decide my own fate.
Why do neither of them understand that?
This is day three since the incident in the courtyard. No, day four. I can’t be sure. I’m curled up in an armchair with a book, although I haven’t processed a single word I’ve read in the past fifteen minutes. Vale sits across from me, flipping through a magazine.
When I have to go back a page for the tenth time, I decide I’m just not in the mood to read.
“Has Dem done this to you too?” I ask.
Vale lifts her eyes off her magazine and arches a questioning brow.
“Made decisions for you,” I explain.
She huffs a laugh. “He tries. He rarely succeeds.”
“I guess I’ve always let him get away with it.”
“He’ll learn. In fact, I think you’re well on your way to ensuring that he does.”
Flipping through my book, I blow out a breath. “I’m just so annoyed with him. I thought I finally had a chance to help him by accepting the proposal, and it feels like he threw it back in my face. It couldn’t have been all that important if he was so willing to call it off.”
Vale folds her hands in her lap and gives me a gentle look. “It was important, Mari. But at the end of the day, your happiness is more important to him.”
“Happiness? What does that have to do with anything? I’m sure I’d make it work with Matteo,” I mutter even as my stomach clenches uncomfortably at the thought.
“I think Dem didn’t want to risk tearing you away from someone who—” She clamps her mouth shut. “Someone who might be important to you.”
“What were you about to say?”
“Nothing.”
“Vale. What were you about to say?”
“I thought we agreed not to mentionhim.”
I slam the book shut and toss it onto the coffee table. “It’s been three days, and he’s still living here. I can’t pretend he doesn’t exist forever. Tell me.”
Vale drags her teeth over her bottom lip, as if carefully considering her next words. “It’s not my place to say, but I know you won’t drop it, so… The night everything happened, Giorgio told Dem he loves you.”
Something tight and painful appears inside my chest. I don’t want to believe it, because if I do and it turns out to be false… “Dem must have misheard him.”
When Vale doesn’t say anything, my eyes start to burn, and I whip my head around to hide my tears.
I said I wouldn’t cry over him, but I already broke that promise. I cried when I left Dem and Giorgio on that patio and ran inside the house, my heart utterly broken. The way he took me against the wall—desperate and wild with grief—told me everything I needed to know. He wanted me, butnot bad enough.
Not bad enough to choose me over his revenge.
When I talked to Dem next, he told me I was wrong. He detailed the new agreement they’d made. He explained how Giorgio was willing to walk away from Sal if it meant he had a chance with me. But Dem said that at the end of the day, the choice is mine.
I said no.
I understand now why some people actually prefer arranged marriages where feelings don’t play a part. A marriage that’s more of a business transaction than anything else is a much simpler endeavor than a union founded on love.
