“How so? It makes more sense now.”
“No, it doesn’t,” I argued.
“But it’ll make perfect sense once I can go through the motions.”
I locked eyes with Jamie. “If the underlying need to submit, to please your Dominant is not going to get you anything in return, then it’s a waste of your time and mine.”
“What if we gave her a brief introduction?” Cav suggested.
Not a bad idea.
“That’s a great idea,” Jamie said gleefully.
“I’m not convinced she’s in it for the right reasons,” I told Cav.
“Maybe not,” he agreed.
I turned my attention back to Jamie. “Care to plead your case?”
“How do I do that?”
“It’s not my place to give you direction in everything, sweetness,” I said through clenched teeth.
Frustration had me looking out the window.
Somewhere in the past ten minutes or so, this had gone in an entirely different direction than we’d been headed. I’d already given in to the idea of taking her back to my place. Pizza, a movie, perhaps something more intimate. I hadn’t, however, given in to the idea of exploring Jamie’s submissive side.
I really didn’t think she was in it for the right reasons. She was spending too much time dissecting it, trying to break it down into little pieces so she could pick out the parts that made sense to her.
The limo came to a stop outside my building. I cast a quick look at Cav. He was clearly waiting for me to say something, do something.
“Edge?”
I turned to Jamie, cocked an eyebrow.
“I understand why you think I’m not grasping the concept,” she said softly. “But I really don’t want it to end here. I’ve enjoyed my time with both of you and I want that to continue. But that’s above and beyond the D/s stuff.”
“But it’s not,” I said with a grimace. “This is who I am, Jamie. I don’t walk around thinking about how I’m going to turn the next woman I encounter into a submissive.”
“I know,” she said quickly. “I’m not implying that, either.” Her dark eyes bounced between me and Cav once more. “I’m sorry. I don’t seem to be communicating this well.”
That was something we could both agree on.
“But I’d like the experience,” she pleaded. “And not just for my paper.”
I stared at Cav. He was watching the two of us and I could see he sympathized with both. He’d spent more time with Jamie this week. Perhaps he was seeing this from a different perspective.
When he gave a slight nod, I took that to mean he had something to discuss on this subject. Figuring it wouldn’t do any good to hash it out in front of Jamie, I sighed.
“Let’s go upstairs. We’ll … talk some more.”
Jamie didn’t respond, but I hadn’t expected her to. The sexual tension I’d felt when we left the bar had dissipated completely. I suddenly felt tired and in desperate need of a real drink. Something a hell of a lot stronger than wine.
“Come on,” I told them as I reached for the door handle.
After dismissing the driver for the evening, I led the way into the building. The ride in the elevator was quiet and I could feel the rigidity in Jamie as she stood between us. I could’ve settled her nerves by promising to go easy on her, but that would defeat the purpose. If she wanted the full experience, I couldn’t treat her with kid gloves.
I got Jamie settled in the living room with a glass of wine, then asked Cav to join me in my office. Once inside, I closed the door, then motioned for him to take a seat.
“Havin’ second thoughts?” he asked, the look on his face one of concern.
“I don’t think she’s in it for the right reasons.”
“I do,” Cav insisted. “I think she’s using this paper as an excuse.”
“I know,” I agreed. “A reason to explore.”
He shook his head. “No. As an excuse to explore. She wants to, but she’s not sure she should.”
I hadn’t considered that. I’d automatically assumed she was interested because of her schoolwork. Not the possibility that she wanted to venture down this road, and this was an opportunity for her to do so.
“Give this a chance,” Cav said softly. “Stop tryin’ to map it out. Just sit back, see where it goes.”
Easier said than done. “Fine. Say I let it play out. Do I hold back or not? If I don’t, I’ll push her too far.”
Cav frowned. “How do you figure?”
I stared at him for a second, wondering if he’d catch on. There was only one point that needed to be addressed tonight.
When he didn’t come to the same conclusion, I helped him along. “She’s a virgin, Cav.”
His eyes narrowed. “So? Are you opposed to takin’ her virginity?”
“No.” And that was the problem. I wanted her virginity.
“She’d never been kissed before I kissed her.” He glanced at the door, then back to me. “Didn’t seem to cause her any problems at all.”
