He frowned, his dark eyebrows shooting downward. “What do you mean, the way I look at him? I don’t look at him any way. He’s just a man who can… Regardless, that’s not what I want from him.”
I sighed, resting my ass against the countertop. “I get it, Case. I really do. Zeke’s an enigma. He’s the Prince of Darkness and he can give you things no one else can. You want to explore this with him, to see where it might lead.”
Case jerked away from me and ran his hand over his short hair. “That’s not true. I can get what I need from—”
“Anyone but me,” I said, cutting off whatever lie he was going to tell me. I couldn’t hide the sadness in my tone. “But I knew that going into it, Case. Zeke was right. It wasn’t fair for me to get all butt-hurt over it. He’s givin’ us what we asked for. It isn’t my place to ask for more, and I damn sure shouldn’t be jealous.”
Case turned back to look at me, something akin to grief written on his face. “This is what I didn’t want to happen, Brax.”
“I know. And that’s on me.” I motioned toward the food I was preparing. “Which is why I’ll just focus on cooking for the two of you and … we’ll figure it out from there. I just need to take a step back.”
That much was true. I really did need to take a step back, to look at this objectively. Unfortunately, my emotions had always run hot. I was quick to get into relationships of any kind. Friends, lovers. I’d been accused of caring more than I should. And I couldn’t deny that I did care about Zeke. Far more than he wanted me to.
“You wanna take a step back from me?” Case blurted, his eyes rounding as though horrified by my response.
“No.” I stepped forward, needing to reassure him. “Not from you. From … the situation. I have to look at it objectively. Without emotion.” I dropped my eyes to his chest. “But that’s hard for me.”
This time when Case cupped my face, I leaned into his hand. I needed his touch. It grounded me in ways I’d never experienced before him.
“I’m not good at this,” I admitted. “I want to be, but I’m not.”
Some people had the ability to shut off their emotions when it came to sex. I wasn’t one of those people. While I tried to remain disconnected, to look at the situation with Zeke dispassionately, I found myself getting in deeper and deeper. When I looked at Zeke, I didn’t just see the hardened Sadist. I saw the man, and beneath that rough, intimidating exterior, Zeke Lautner was still just a man.
I was drawn to him, curious about what made him tick. Did I want more time with him? Yes. Did I want him to spend less time focusing on Case? No. I just needed to learn how to deal with it.
“Neither am I,” Case stated firmly. “Which is why I say we just go back to the apartment and forget all of it. We can even take a break from the club for a while.”
I huffed a laugh, but the pain that consumed me wasn’t funny in any way. “No, Case. That’s not fair to you or me, and it’s not fair … it’s not fair to Zeke. We agreed to see this through the same way he did. I get that he’s a badass and he acts like nothing matters to him, but I know better. He needs as much from us as we need from him.”
And I was convinced of that. Otherwise, Zeke wouldn’t have invited us into his home. He certainly wasn’t the type of man who allowed people to see into his world. Not willingly.
Case didn’t respond. His light green eyes never wavered from my face. I could see his concern, but I could also see the hope. He didn’t want what he was offering. He didn’t want to go back to that apartment or anywhere, for that matter. Case needed what Zeke was giving him. It settled that wild part of him. And I honestly believed that Zeke needed it, too. He could tell us all day long that he wasn’t in it for friendship, but I didn’t believe that. Perhaps he wasn’t looking to fall in love, but at the very least, he needed us to see this through. Not to turn our backs on him.
“When he gets home tonight, I fully intend to apologize,” I told Case. “I’m gonna own up to my mistake and ask for his forgiveness.”
“You don’t have to do that.” Case’s tone was threaded with pain. “I want you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“I know that.” I pulled him into me. “And that’s all I ever wanted for you, too.”
