Page 138 of Their Ruthless Sadist (Office Intrigue Duet 5)
Now, it appeared my past was coming back with a vengeance and I wasn’t the only one who was about to deal with it.
“Pretty boy, it’s your turn again. What’s your pleasure?” Zeke prompted.
I took a deep breath and swallowed hard. It was now or never.
“First, I need something from you,” I told him.
Zeke appeared in front of me, his eyes narrowed. I could tell he was searching my face for a clue.
“If it’s in my power, I’ll give it to you,” he whispered.
I swallowed hard. “I’ll reveal my pain if you reveal yours.”
He stared at me for what felt like an eternity before he finally nodded. “Deal.”
“And what’s your request for now?” he asked.
“Subspace, Zeke.”
That seemed to surprise him because he didn’t respond immediately.
“In return, I’ll tell you what you want to know.”
Zeke remained where he was, directly in front of me, and I forced my eyes to lock on his face. I didn’t want him to see the pain that coursed through me but there was no way to fight it.
He stepped close enough to touch my face. I leaned into his hand. “But you have to agree not to judge me.”
“Never, Case,” he said, his tone ripe with conviction. “I will never judge you.”
I nodded, hoping he meant that, because what he wanted to know wasn’t a memory I enjoyed reliving. On the other hand, I knew it was the reason for so many things in my life.
“Brax has to promise, too,” I whispered.
“I love you, Case,” Brax said from behind me. “I would never judge you.”
I held Zeke’s stare. “Can I have a minute?”
“Of course.”
He disappeared and I heard him moving around. I got the feeling he was releasing Brax from the St. Andrew’s Cross. Considering this entire charade had been set up for this moment, it made sense.
“Subspace, Zeke,” I said as a reminder.
“You have my word, pretty boy. I’ll let you fly.”
His words choked me up. I never thought I’d be in this place where I had the opportunity to have all I’d ever wanted. Zeke would be able to give me what Brax couldn’t. In return, I could love them both and know that I was complete.
Closing my eyes, I tried to relax. I swallowed past the lump in my throat and forced the words out. “My parents moved to Texas when I was fourteen. I left all my friends behind. People who’d become important to me, some I’d known all my life.
“When we got to Dallas, I knew no one. The school I enrolled in was overpopulated, far bigger than the small town I’d lived in. I met John on my first day there. He was in my World History class. It was ninth grade. We became friends immediately.
“I recognized something in him that I connected with. Although I suspected, I hadn’t yet put a label on myself when it came to my sexuality. I was popular with the girls, and I’d had a few girlfriends in junior high, but I had never quite connected with any of them. It wasn’t until John that I realized who I really was. With every passing day, we became closer.”
I swallowed as the memories consumed me.
“By the time tenth grade rolled around, John and I had already started to experiment. We both knew what we wanted, but we were nervous about what it meant. He was the first guy I kissed and I was his first as well. Like I said, we experimented and things progressed from there. It started out with kissing, groping, then hand jobs.
“That went on for a good six months. We were both nervous, not sure where to go from there. Then one day, while we were making out, things progressed to the point of no return. I ended up fucking him that day. In his bedroom while his parents were at work.
“I knew by then that I loved him. I wanted to spend every minute with him, so we did. Not only had we given each other our virginity, we were best friends. At the time, I couldn’t see spending my life without him in it.”
I took a moment, breathing through the familiar pain that still slammed me when I thought about all the things we’d done together, all the things we had planned to do after high school.
“Spring break of our junior year, John got sick. Really sick. His dad took him to the doctor, and shortly thereafter, he was diagnosed with leukemia. Evidently, it was advanced. The prognosis hadn’t been good, but his parents were determined to find him the best doctors in the world to make him better.”
Tears threatened as I remembered the day he came home from the doctor.
“Less than two weeks later, John was hospitalized and it all went downhill from there. I spent every minute I could at the hospital with him and his parents. It was brutal for all of us, watching him slip away day after day. It seemed to take him so quickly. Too quickly. I thought for sure any minute someone would find a cure and he would be back home and we would be watching movies, playing video games, and sneaking kisses when no one was looking.”
